velvet revolver

2011-04-26T00:48:00.001+08:00

Hi people. Allow me to... ...

Anger VS Disappointed.

2010-12-09T16:46:00.001+08:00

You see, there is this huge difference between anger and disappointment. But people don't see it. They're more inclined to fear when they meet anger, not disappointment. Let's break it down a little.

You see, anger has a much bigger picture than name-calling, stinky vulgarities, flaring of temper. Anger us overrated. Anger is fueled by this sense of transcending care and concern, and just simply the strengthened energy to force a change, to demand for the better, to execute your expectations through imposing your opinions and to simply wish for a better relationship with each other. Anger is the marriage of over-protection and over-provocation. Yet unfortunately, the only thing people seem to realize is the immediate reaction. They don't get the bigger picture.

You see, disappointment, unlike anger, is the act of simply raising both hands in surrender and announce, "I had enough. I give up.". it's a sorry one sided affair. One party simply puts his head down in defeat and admit, "I'm the loser. I'm the sucker." and then the story ends right about there. It's a state of mind where one simply succumbs to the situation, takes his foot out, and walk away. In defeat and embarrassment. Unlike anger, it's hard to pull someone out of disappointment.

You see, as often as it may be, I've been an angry man. A really really angry man. Then one day, this awakening struck me - the ones you used to call friends, partners, alliances, acquaintances, whatever them devils are called! You stop and realized that they aren't actually reciprocating what you offer. They are nervous, shaky and they do no good to you. Then you stop. And then you're immediately immersed in this wave of disappointment. A huge rush of it.

You see, I'd very much like to bid my farewell and look for my forever. But there's something stopping me. This is no creative writing. This is a declaration.

You see, I was once angry. Perhaps too angry. Now, I'm just plain disappointed.

Till I finally make friends with the mirror.

2010-11-26T15:42:00.002+08:00

it's heartwarming to know that at times like this, when all is down and nothing seems right, loneliness creeps in and fear hits you, you have that one single person who stupidly sits by you, pats you on the back (only because your bald head is highly sensitive), and whispers, "don't worry, everything is gna be okay."

when the temper flares, you contemplate revenge, you breathe bad blood, she comes along and say, "relax, don't be angry," or at times, she feels sorry for you, slightly sympathetic, but above all, dying to exact the same consistent revenge on your behalf.

for now i truly understand the saying - the world may turn against us, but what matters the fuck most is that we stand up for each other like warriors and nigel de jongs and conquer the world.

We Love We.

GY!BE

2010-11-23T20:01:00.001+08:00

there's an evil virus that's threatening mankind
it's not state of the art, it's a serious state of the mind
the muggers, the backstabbers, the two faced elite
a menace to society, a social disease
to brainwash the mind is a social disorder
the cynics, the apathy one-upmanship order
watching beginnings of social decay
gloating and sneering at life's disarray
eating away at your own self esteem
pouncing on every word that you might be saying
to attack someones mind is a social disorder
the constitution, the government, martial law order
superficially smiling a shake of the hand
as soon as your back is turned treason is planned
when every good thing's laid to rest
by the governments hate, by the constitution and their lies
and every time you think you're safe
and when you go to turn away
you know they're sharpening all their knives
all in your mind
all in your head
try to relate it
all in your mind
all in your head
try to escape it
without a conscience they destroy
and that's a thing that they enjoy
they're a sickness that's in all of our minds
they want to sink the ship and leave
the way they laugh at you and me
you know it happens all the time
but it only happens in your mind
the rats in the cellar you know who you are...
or do you?
watching beginnings of social decay

Blades of glory

2010-11-10T10:37:00.001+08:00

Dear god

I'm writing this letter with a heavy heart and in utter frustration. I must complain about the methods you have enforced to teach your little children. What is with them these days?

I'm watching the news and then again, this poor little kid gets chased after by 6 men with choppers. It's the same old story, probably the same old staring thing with big bloodshot eyes owing to lack of sleep, underage smoking, but more prominently, incessant over masturbation. But what baffles me most is the keenness in courage of these teenagers. I mean in a short span of half a year, I've heard over 4 stabbing cases. This is unacceptable, god. This situation is vulgar!

Since nonody's gna give me an answer (the media only offers the weak assumption that staring is a viable warrant for anyone to come after you with choppers), I'm gna go deep into the hearts of these teenagers to search for what's garnering this angst within them.

I haven't really come to terms that teenagers will actually end up with choppers and vice versa. Penknives are fine, and so are the swiss army. But a friggin' chopper ended up in the hands of a teenager? That's just out of the world! Unless of course, they end up in the culinary discipline. But even so, they should know better than to use choppers on living humans. Foodstuff, babies, foodstuff! This, god, you haven't really spent much time educating huh?

You know they like to blame it all on media violence, which in all honesty, is a bag of bullshit to me. For me, it is just a pathetic cover up - I mean, this media violence thing has been going on, and such is its sheer size and impregnability, that nobody can actually point a finger at a specific figure and say, "hey you, media-violence-fire-starter.". Until that day comes, we won't be seeing jet li or the charlie's angel gang in cuffs and thrown into jail for encouraging this media violence shit. Similarly, in the same context, you will never get to see christopher Nolan direct a brokeback-mouintanesque movie. These directors are gna go on and on with their multi million dollar making movies. So yes, definitely no way to put an end to this media violence thing.

So the people will talk about staring and its, as it has been so effectively proven over this period of time, Consequences with the capital 'C'. Your majesty, you gave us a pair of eyeballs and the ability of sight vision for a reason. But if staring at someone for more than 3 seconds will get me chopped, then what's good about these balls? At least let them be detachable , so at the very least, it serves a purpose to jugglers and the sexy ladies. So who's gna call the shots if this teenager slowly comes into my line of vision? Then he hurls some hokkien vulgarities at me, calling me over, daring me to take him on, and then asks, "Eh siao eh, you never die before ah?!". Right right right, let's just break this down a little. Tell me how I should be able to stand in front of you, speak to you, make angry faces to intimidate you if I have 'die before ah?!'. Then when this angry teenager realizes I haven't given him an answer, and still attempting to look angry and fierce, he questions, "YOU.. ISIT.. WANT.. TO.. DIE!!!?!". With added pauses in between for that dramatic effect. "erm, hi gangster. I'm not too sure about that. But let's see... Erm... Okay no. Nope. No I don't want to die. Tyvm."

God, if you decide to not change anything about this, I will be an angry man. I may even ask you those questions above. Husbands are gna get slapped and chopped by wives for staring at them while in a missionary position (dogs will probably gain this newfound respect and value about them in the near future); the optician will want to charge me a rip off price because hey, I 'stared' at him while he was looking through that machine to check the degree of each of my useless eyeballs; I'm standing under the bus shelter, first in the line, the bus arrives but conveniently runs me over instead of stopping because I made eye contact with the bus driver while flagging the bus and so on.

I've had enough really, and I have to admit that it's gna take a huge effort to successfully change this entire situation for good. But this isn't my greatest worry, really. I have to admit - I really fear for my life at times.

Which really brings me to this abrupt and final conclusive purpose of this letter to you, god. Can you, at the very least, not allow situations like this to be dawned upon incompetent runners, or what better known as obese people. Okay fine, fat people. God, please, how in the world am I gna evade these chopper-fuckers?!

Roll lor.

Yours sincerely,
Your very very very worried little child.

You.

2010-10-27T01:21:00.001+08:00

A friend once said: you know you are in a stable relationship when you count time spent together by years, and not months.

Let's live by this simple principle, nette.

2010-09-22T05:23:00.002+08:00

0525: early morning, The Resounding Ovation

A cap to hide the badly scarred face, a long sleeve shirt to conceal the tattoos, a shabby black coloured slacks to relieve the legs of the chill of night breeze – he prepares.

A crowd of people. Seated. Bored. He smirks. He is excited. He is looking over at the crowd of 200 people. What a way, what a grand entrance it will be and what an awesome feeling it will be. Almost thunderous, almost electrifying. To kill, to kill, to kill - he prepares.

The master key clatters alongside the lesser-used keys. He slides it into the ignition. Three. Two. One. The engine roars to life. Still unnoticed, the crowd remained unfazed. He remains a mystery – he prepares.

He turns the steering ever so skillfully to accommodate the sharp bend. And then all of a sudden, he steps on the gas. The speedometer moved as fast as it could, the large vehicle delivering a deafening and insistent sound of engine blaring. He drives head on towards the crowd of people. Fast, fast, fast, to kill, to kill, to kill. He smiles. He is in total control. He is thrilled.

The crowd remained calmed and maintained their position.

The large vehicle was moving quickly and noisily towards the crowd of people, never once dropping a hint of pulling over.

But at the last leg of this intense drive out, he made a sharp turn. The brakes screeched, and the large vehicle took its position adjacent to the crowd of people seated.

Three. Two. One.

The crowd of people, in pure uniformity, stood up. Like a marching band, audible in their discipline; like a school of fish, swimming in a steady formation; like a choir, coming in together with precision at the chorus, matching in pitch and tune – the crowd of people stood up together at the exact same time, celebrating his arrival. Some were smiling, but most remained bored. He didn’t mind this at all.

He only had time to admit the people smiling, those who were celebrating his arrival.

He remained seated in the large vehicle, witnessing this very moment right before his eyes. Such a beautiful disposition. The Resounding Ovation. What a stunning frame of image to behold!

And then suddenly, this quiet imagination was rudely interrupted with the incessant beeping of a machine.

He prepares.

The bus driver prepares for yet another long day of loops after loops around the city.

The Resounding Ovation has now, ceased.

Bored. To kill, to kill, to kill.

2010-09-14T14:11:00.002+08:00

Alone.

the devil looks up into the monotonous night sky - the raindrops like plastic pellets, swift and unpredictable, disarming any possibility of emotion. draped in a black coloured nondescript pullover, the devil walked along the quiet streets of shophouses. he wanted no attention, he needed none of it. an extrovert, yet today will be the only day he discouraged attention. tonight, he needed to be as sneaky as possible, as mysterious as possible, and as quiet as possible. he wanted to be invincible.

Desaturated.

a colourless function - the devil was the only residing colour in the setting. an unpleasant surprise, but its colour exudes a fiery devillish shade of red. one which knocks the commoners down to their knees; one which blinds them with fear. fear of being alone. loneliness at its worst.

Loneliness.

loneliness is but a state of mind. a terrible one to be in. it works on anxiety, builds on progressive insanity and kills the victim slowly but surely. it tears the victim's emotions apart and into smaller pieces; so small that it can never be restored. do you know what loneliness does to your mind?

loneliness sucks every living soul out of your body, transforming it to an absolute dysfunctional system. loneliness quietens the heart, and traps its users in a bottomless pit of painful no return. it is irreversible, slowly eating the minds of the little ones. there is only one way they can go - down. further and further down to a deadly scene of fiascos and pointless bouts of false hopes. an endless free fall, crescendos of satanic devillish tunes and hopeless anxiety, all matched against each other with a serious sense of murderous agenda.

do you know what loneliness does to your mind?...

feeling the light drizzle evolving into a heavy rain, the devil opened up his umbrella. again, a shade of bright red, complimenting his overall avatar. cringed. he was reminded of his task at hand; tonight, he will see blood. lots of blood. lots of awfully red blood - a shade of bright red, complimenting his overall avatar.

he marched along the aisle of shophouses as gracefully as possible, disinfecting himself of any suspicion of negativity. he stopped in front of pharmacy, and smiled to himself. - the stairs was but a mere stone's throw away - he was reaching his destination, the destination. the task at hand.

the sons of anarchy must have been smiling - the devil was about to glorify the little ones. he was about to exempt the greatest matriarch from this face of the world. what an awesome feeling that will be.! the devil will be celebrated more than ever before - commoners donned in red, bright red, with carcasses in their hands, singing songs inspired and of death.

Death - a submission to the most exalted.

death, with so much senseless debate going around, is a majestic method of settlement. death provides a route for joy and happiness, and it's no wonder that husbands kill wives and wives kill their children - love, at its pinnacle. death resolves the worries and the pain. a manifestation of love for one another. death, is a submission to the most exalted.

the devil walks up the flight of stairs, with each step, it wasn't fear he was feeling. it wasn't nervousness that threatened to throw him off guard. the devil maintained his most murderous stance, amidst all the joy he was feeling inside. he was about to end somebody's life, and what an absolute celebration that might be.!

he wanted to experience blood - thick, and a bright shade of it - the kind the little ones and himself bathe in every single during the ritual.

the Ritual.

every night, they stand in a perfect circle. a circle signifies infinity and endlessness in all its glory. yet the devil celebrates its geometry in a totally opposite manner - a circle, infinity and endlessness, translates into a devillish snare of no return; the best possible trap. you seek, search and trot along the boundaries of this cunning geometry for a week, yet you end up in exactly the same spot you first started. you have nowhere to go, and in the most sorry state, you're shackled in this hideous trap. you are finished.

the devil adores the sight - his little ones standing hand in hand in an absolute circular fashion. this is most pleasurable for the creator, to full take in the pungent smell of thick, dark bloody broth, forcefully smeared and poured over the little ones. they chorus chants in celebration of death, and they are always made to put on their best smile.

every night, at exactly 12 midnight (in a 24-hour time format, 12 midnight reads 00:00), the little ones gather at the exact same secret spot and wait on the devil. tonight, they have waited for an hour.

but tonight, the devil will not show up. tonight, he has a bigger mission of greater importance. he will end somebody's life - the greatest sacrifice possible to celebrate death.

the devil raced up the flight of stairs around the corner. with each step he took, he felt closer and closer to his task at hand. if not for his fully dry-bloodied body, he could have smelled accomplishment. by the 6th storey, he was almost flying. he was excited, his heart thumping of enthusiasm and anxiety. he was anxious, very anxious, so much so that head had long forgotten about the nervousness and cowardice a murder should experience.

finally, the devil had reached the roof level of a 10-storey apartment. the morning wind sent unhealthy chills down his spine. the first thing that instigated fear into him.

he moved forward, approaching a less enclosed space - the wind became stronger and more unbearable - sheltered by a trellis structure in a conical, pitch-roof formation. the devil entered the space and chose his spot - directly above his was the top of the cone shaped pitch roof, the summit of the entire apartment. tonight, he wanted to feel like the best - at the top of everything.

the devil held this position for an hour, always keeping his task in mid - the greatest sacrifice in celebration of death.

at 2 past midnight, he finally opened his eyes. it was time.

the devil specifically took 16 steps to the edge of the roof. it was a spectacular sight to take in. he turned around, back facing this scenic view. he watched, and watched, suddenly becoming extremely sensitive to every movement, read to pounce on anything unusual. the task for the night never once left his mind. he was alert and attentive to every single detail happening right before his very eyes.

and then when he finally decided that nothing was wrong or unusual, he finally closed his eyes. darkness. unusual rainbow coloured refraction circles forming up within his eyelids. darkness again.

he took in a deep breath - sweet sweet sweet, fresh fresh fresh morning air.

and then he sensed it, this time he really did. a signal. a signal that it was time to finally go for the kill. the devil bend his knees, picking up and offensive stance.

he was finally ready, the time he was waiting for.

in finality, with his eyes still shut, the devil took one last breath.

and then all of a sudden, he took the plunge.

freefall from the tenth storey, strong acceleration through the resistance of the wind. his four seconds of freefall from grace felt like long minutes to him.

memories of his loved ones flashed past his mind in the first second.

rituals and time spent with his lovely little ones took up the second.

the third was reserved for a summation of all of his incredulous acts of betrayal, murder and crimes. he adored these operations.

and finally, on the fourth and final second, just before the wanted body of the devil met with the impact of the hard concrete ground, only one thing appeared in his mind.

the greatest sacrifice in celebration of death.

he managed a slight grin.

thud.

pitch black.

darkness, the devil was finally gone.

all the joy he was feeling inside.

2010-03-29T15:14:00.002+08:00

for the earlier part of what's left of this relationship, we were so focused on composing a love story.

and then one fine day, everything changed. with a snap of the finger, we were dragging this love story deeper and deeper into the oceans. it suddenly became a debate, it became an argument of who's wrong and who's right, who should give in and who should force through.

i've had enough. and the undying flame will have to be put out now.

2010-03-08T22:30:00.008+08:00

the other day, out of sheer boredom, i ventured into the woods armed with nothing but a desire to go on an adventure. i expected much lesser, and what hit me was too much to bear. i think i asked for too much. the gods answered my prayers, and my adventure went something like this... ...

at 2am, i thought to myself, "did my sudden appearance prove to be too much of a distraction.?" i needed to be quiet and alone. the mahjong tiles barked from the living room, and without a second thought, i was out of the house in 5 minutes.

15 minutes passed, i realised that i brought nothing along with me. i searched my heart, like how you would when you're deciding where to have your dinner, questioning your inner food cravings. an idea struck me - i wanted to go on an adventure. i knew that among the tall condominiums and hdb flats, and row of terraces and bungalows, lived a green forest, we call the Green. my mom told me never to walk into it. she told us stories about how children went it and never came out again. however, the Green right before me seemed like it was screaming something to me, enticing me to walk into it. i looked at the dark sky, imagine my mom speaking to me, and then search my heart all over again. i made a decision.

a good 45 minutes passed, and i started to feel that it wasn't that smart a decision to walk into this forest. it wasn't because i had lost my way, nor was i feeling scared, but the external contents from the outside sure looked much more alluring than what it offers within this Green. once again, i started thinking about what i wanted to forget - did my sudden appearance prove to be too much of a distraction.? i was looking at my footsteps, bowing my head down in guilt. i thought i was supposed to offer moral support.

then, at the corner of my eye, i spotted a chubby looking girl, sleeping on top of a huge boulder. i looked at her and contemplated raping her, but no, she was kinda fat. she woke up all of a sudden and looked me in the eye. she asked, "what is your worry, maybe i can help.?". i had my doubts. for a first, what was this girl doing here at 330 in the morning.? most importantly, what can she do to help.? i looked at her for a long time. and then, i started gazing at her. from top to toe. you might think that i was trying to decide if i should confide my problems in her but no - i didn't stop thinking about whether to rape her or not. she returned my stare, and then started nodding her head. she fished out a card of encouragement out of her back pocket, and handed it to me. she said with such sincerity, "take this, and you will always experience eternity."

you might wna click on it to have it zoomed.

i winked at her playfully, and said, "thank you so much. you're a lucky girl. it wasn't the card and your goodwill that stopped me from raping you. it was your... ..." and whispered, 'fats' to myself while turning and walking away.

i continued my journey, with each step, i ventured deeper and deeper into the forest. it was 350am when i felt thirst taking over me. i had to have water. my footstep became heavier and heavier, my body felt weaker and weaker. suddenly, i saw a glimmering light faraway. my body condition, unknowingly, took a turn, and i was sprinting towards the light. i was totally elated when a swamp greeted me after a minute's of running. i had to walk over the swamp area, which was filled with mud, mud, mud and mud. but it was worth. i had to take the walk, if not in a matter of minutes, i would collapse out of dehydration. my feet sank in slowly by slowly, step by step into the thick layer of mud, but my eyes never once left the almost glittering pond right in front of me. finally, i had reached the pond. i use both my hands to cup water into my mouth. i was thirsty, and the water, though dirty, tasted heavenly to me. after 5 minutes of drinking and resting, i made my move.

i was taken aback when a girl was face to face with me. all this while, she was standing behind my back, waiting for me to turn. without warning, she asked in a considerably low tone, "what is your worry, maybe i can help.?" i looked at her, and boy, did she look ghastly.! i was scared and my legs still shivered ferociously even though they were rooted to the soil. out of my fear, i explained everything to her, hoping that she would let me off if i respected her wishes. instead of hurting me, she took out a card of encouragement and handed it to me.

before i could thank her, she said, "take this, and you will always experience eternity. now go.!" i scurried away quickly.

i felt rejuvenated, half suspecting that the water that i drank a few minutes ago was somehow special. i kept on walking, always looking forward and never backward. at about 4am, i encountered my next bizarre experience. right in the middle of the infamous Green stood a study table, a chair, and a desktop computer. it hit me suddenly that there was a match going on, and i was missing it. i blamed myself for being so forgetful. i rushed to the computer, praying that i could tap onto an internet access to check the scores of the games that i had missed. before i could take my seat at the chair, a short girl wearing specs rushed out and screamed, "please do not disturb.! i am studying.!" i looked at her and was instantaneously stunned at her face matched with her dressing. her sense of fashion frightened me, her specs i wish to break. she looked up suddenly, looked me in the eyes, and said, "what is your worry, maybe i can help.?" i, being myself, used to have the knack for bullying nerds in my school. this, was no exception. i pushed her head and commanded her to get on with her studying. without getting angry, she started looking frantically under her pile of assessment books and lecture notes for something. that 'something' sure looked important.

finally, she took it out in between one of her books, and handed a card of encouragement to me. she said, "take this with you, and you will always experience eternity."

instead of saying my thanks to her, i knocked her on the head again and strolled away casually, with arms swinging behind my back.

after 10 minutes of walking, i thought, "what the heck, a study table in a forest, what else can i find here man.?" and chucked to myself. and then it happened. with no warning and no hesitance, it appeared out of nowhere and out of the blue. a mega shopping mall stood right in front of me, and it was easily way bigger than any shopping mall that i have seen in my entire life. i dashed right into it, thanking my lucky stars for this indeed adventurous night. i walked right into the main atrium, and was shocked when i was met with several thousands of people squeezing and pushing each other. i looked up and found my answer - a meet-and-greet autograph session was being held here. out of curiosity and most dominantly, boredom, i joined the queue and waited for an hour before i could come face to face with the superstar everyone was screaming for. i looked at her, and smiled. without waiting, i took out the card of encouragement the geek had earlier on given to me and passed it to the superstar seated in front of me. she looked at the card, hesitated signing, and looked at me. she asked, "what is your worry, maybe i can help.?" before i could answer, she started pinching the card that i have given to her, with her eyes tightly shut. she took a deep breath in and opened her eyes again. from her LV handbag, she took out another card of encouragement and said, "take this with you, and you will always experience eternity."

she waved to me, and the ceramic tiles that i was stepping on suddenly disappeared. i looked up and there was no longer shelter - i was back at the Green.

i ran with might, realising that it was extremely late. i didn't want to be stop. i wanted to go home now. i started thinking about the ghost stories my friends used to tell during camps and overnight chalets. i was scaring myself. i ran even faster.

without realising, i had ran passed a girl who was lying semi conscious on the grass. i heard her shouting for me, but i did not stop. i wanted to go home and that was all i could think of. and then it struck me - what if a life was at stake.? reluctantly, i turned my back and ran towards the source of sound. what greeted me was a grotesque scene. a teenager with, very weirdly, a nose too flat to be possible was bleeding profusely from her wrists, neck, and stomach. i had to help her. i stopped suddenly as i heard her whispering profanities at me. she must have been hurt emotionally, and her injuries looked like they were self inflicted. i stood up upon hearing her cursing. as i walked away, she requested, "what is your worry, maybe i can help.? and then you will help me get out of this place." i agreed and proceeded to tell her my whole night's of experience. she was listening intently, and all this while, while her organs threatened to spill, her blood spurt in every direction, and her incessant groaning never once stopped, i was right there, taking my time and telling her my fairytale story. what a righteous gentleman i was.! when i had finished my story, she told me, "will you please look away.?" i was baffled at her request, but nonetheless, i looked in the opposite direction. suddenly, she screamed loudly in pain.! i turned around and almost fainted when i saw her hand lost inside her own stomach. she was fisting her own stomach.!! i screamed, not knowing what to do to be of assistance to her.! surprisingly, she calmed me down by saying, "don't worry, i'm used to it. i do this every other day." i was astounded. from inside her stomach, she fished out a fully blood-stained card of encouragement and handed it to me. she said in a weak and dying voice, "take this with you, and you will always experience eternity."
before i could take my shirt off to try and stop the bleeding, a fleet of eagles descended and surrounded us. they started chattering among themselves. i stood there motionless - first, it was that weird girl out here at 2 am, then a girl who has a fetish for mud, then a study table, the mega mall that disappeared all of a sudden, this bloody (literally) girl with so much teenage angst around her, and then this, eagles randomly wanting to surround me.

all of a sudden, i recalled my primary school science, stood up, and took an offensive stance. what if they weren't eagles, what if they were... ... vultures.! what if they decide to finish off what's left of the bloody girl who meant good to me.? i couldn't take this lying down. i stood up, grabbed a fallen branch and before i could strike any of the eagle/vulture, the head of the clan started talking, "let's make a trade. let us have her, and i will be at your service and of transport to anywhere you desire." i looked at the poor bloody girl shaking her head, and then i looked into the venomous eyes of the head of the clan. the bloody girl tried to say something that i couldn't make of. it must have been nothing but weak and groundless begging. it was her own doing - her own slitting of her wrists, her compulsive desire to see herself bleed. i gazed into the venomous eyes of the clan leader for half a minute before i slowly but surely, nodded my head in agreement. i hoped onto her and before the clan leader took flight, i pointed my middle finger at the bloody girl and said, "FUCK YOU.! THIS IS FOR DOM.!"

i was up in the sky when it finally sank in - i was on my way home, and will soon be back in the comfort of my family, my refuge. after 15 minutes of flying and directing, the clan leader finally reached my place. she let me down, and explained to me that the girl that i gave up on was very important because her family was suffering from a major famine for months. she said with teary eyes, "what is your worry, maybe i can help.?" when i saw the sincere tears in her eyes, i broke down and cried along with her. she comforted me, and said, "i know, what's your worry.". she handed me a card of encouragement and said, "take this with you, and you will always experience eternity."
we said our goodbyes after exchanging hugs. while walking back to my home, i took out all the cards that i have gathered for the night. it was 7am, and the sun was rising. i didn't feel a tinge of tiredness at all. i only had one strong feeling - i was extremely excited to collate all these cards and give it to my one and only, and pray that it will serve as an encouragement always and forever.

so... here it is, my lynette. :)

disclaimer note: the text within the jpeg files were sincerely written by the girls themselves.

2010-02-19T00:31:00.003+08:00

seconds turn to minutes, minutes turn to hours, hours to days... you can never fathom how long i have waited for this fateful day to come. it's like an awakening for all my friends and family, because right here tonight, standing atop the stage in FB Theatre, i am gna make an electrifying confession, so much so that th...ey're gna see the truest and most basic form of me and just me.

recall beautiful memories, re capture happy moments and reiterate the single most powerful establishment of my love for you. you render me helpless, like a broken toy or a knife with a chamfered blade, each time you blow into my ears. a gentleness extinct in this era already, a minute yet thoughtful action, heavenly, fucken heavenly. you might think nothing of it, but Mr. G, right now, i am confessing with brutal conviction that it turns me on. it is like a wake-up call when i'm fast asleep, a reminder that you still care for me.

recall beautiful memories, re capture happy moments and reiterate the single most powerful establishment of my love for you. you render me helpless, like an incomplex monumental wave of the hand, you sweep me off my feet; like a thoughtless swipe of your fringe, acting like a kitchen mop for that moment, you sweep it across my rough patch of skin. ... oh Mr. G you must be some kind of god. which man in the world would have touched me like you did. it is a sweet variance, to be able to fill the gentle texture of your hair brushing across my face. another wake up call, another reminder that you still care for me.

since today is the big day, your day, Mr. G's day, we shall leave melcas out but don't you ever doubt that he is not with us. it was a painful year 2008, crestfallen, heartaches, tough, bitter and majorly dejected are but some adjectives used to describe life without you. on a normal weekday, i would wake up only when the sun scorches high up in the blue. my mates were smart enough to escape this torture, for they will always be on time for lectures and tutorials. i dno why, but i didn't see a point in doing so.

truth came knocking on my door one november night. bad news struck me. the numerical value 0.35 haunted me for a good 2 months.

year 2009 came, i packed my bags and headed nonchalantly to the familiar studio that i had bummed my ass in for the year. at the corner of my eye, i spotted a guy. he dressed like how any other teenagers would. i spotted... the logo emblazoned on the polo tee. it was a fred perry, but i didn't know why, but at the back of my mind, i had suspicions of its authenticity. i chose not to pursue the matter, hoping to make one more friend instead of an enemy. one fine day, you were impressed with my work rate, and the number of A3 papers which i had filled up. you talked to me. i looked at you with eyes burning with passion. you must not have realised it, for it must be a commodity for you - people seducing you with their fiery eyes. i tried my best to make friends with you. you made friends at a rapid rate, something which i will never be capable of. i thought that you were cool enough to be my friend, but i was afraid of one thing and only one thing - that i wasn't cool enough to be yours.

3 months down the road, we rested against the green coloured railings just outside our studio. you looked at me and gave me comforting chills up my spine. you agreed to wait for me while i dragged on my cigarette.

slowly, we opened up to each other. i open up to melcas and you, you open up to melcas and i, and melcas open up to you and i. it was ... a healthy cycle, something that friends should always cherish and look to keep. we talked about relationship problems, and in all honesty (no offence to both girlfriends), i think we know so much about each other that it is a crime if we don't report the growth of a single pubic hair.

unbeknownst to the both of you, you 2 (especially gavin since today is your birthday -.-) have made this year a less tedious year for me. you have no idea the psychological challenge for someone like me to step out and take on the world again. i am glad that throughout this tormenting year of sleepless nights and last minute work (okay maybe this is only applicable to me), i have the both of you by my side. like a bird who needs its wings, a camera needs its battery to function, a child needs his dad, mr joey teh ru yen right here and right now would like to say that i think the both of you have been induced to my hall of fame for eternity. let's keep this going.

2008, a horrid year.

2009, a blessing in disguise.

3 months down the road i placed my arms around the shoulders of 2 very special friends.

2010, 19 february, on top of wishing one of them a very very very happy 18th birthday, i would like to bow down now in absolute thanksgiving for their presence in my life.

WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE SEE AND LEARN, LIFE IS ABOUT SHOWING APPRECIATION TO THOSE WHO MATTER.!

2010-02-10T01:01:00.003+08:00

muzzzzzze proved to be a neck-breaker, caused an eruption in my inner-self, forcing the hyper-active persona out of thy thick layer of skin, the... ...strength, the goddamn strength of each note, each kick, in my face in an obscene and vulgar manner, accompanied with colourful laZers shooting in all directions, mild, calm, colourful tapered casual slacks, loose fitting plain tees, nondescript leather shoes, against the arsenal of powerful weapons, custom made guitars, harmonicas, sweet-smelling piano solos, heartbreaks and eruptions, eruptions and heartbreaks... a stark contrast against one another, a beautiful contrast... this beautiful contrast.

uprising, a war cry applicable to the ones that matter with arm aloft, knight of cydonia, on dey similar note.

the only upset that night was, with extreme certainty, how can the singapore fans not shout and scream for encore after muse's last song.?!

2010-02-03T13:37:00.002+08:00

i go there watch this one then i come home do my subm lo okie

am suddenly extremely excited to watch coloured jeans, signature mic stands, chubby face head-banging, and slick dance moves. YOU AND I MUST FIGHT FOR OUR RIGHTS.

2010-01-30T01:26:00.002+08:00

it's about time i tell you guys a little about how life is treating me. i think i'm just a lucky fat bastard - i mean, who gets a pair of master control 360, a simple yet thoughtful gift (a single piece of singlet), a bag full of pezzzzzzzz, a ferocious looking marc ecko, a pair of birks, and 2 pieces of mono albums (which i probably wouldn't have bought because it each would have cost me a staggering 40 big dollars) all on an insignificant 19th birthday.? oh yes, not forgetting the pack of close fit and dunhill reds, the fhm magazine with our very own locally produced ong ai leng wishing me a very sexy birthday, and a birthday treat by 13 other future architects at our campus' pizza hut. i mean, look, 10 years down the road, i'll probably be stepping into one of those futuristic state building, nudge my friend on his hips and say, "so say, the architect who did this building bought me some pizza and garlic bread when i was young and 19." and then leave him in absolute admiration. this birthday couldn't get any better.!

you know how they like to lament on about the importance of having a good head start.? i mean, look, having your birthday fall on the first month annually plays a big part in dictating the rest of that particular year. this year could turn out to be one of the best, judging by the gifts and love i received. it's fucking proven.! look, i got a cap which reads out loud, 'WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS,' last year and look, i'm here with this hell of a goddess named ms lynette kwan ling ling, 6 months and counting.!

you know life is treating you like the king when you're excited about it, eager to learn what else is installed for you for the remaining 335 days. no joke brothers and sisters, i can't wait for tmrw.

2010-01-21T00:47:00.003+08:00

an intimate contact, a sound congregation, a quiet night, this pitch black crime scene screams abhorrence - a loud heartbeat progressed to a million offsprings. and they were the dilapidated victims of Fear. in this one night, the subject has been commissioned to a mission never possible - a timid first timer constantly in self-denial, a hideous man yet an outspoken one, the state of mind ever changing on detection of the slightest of suitability to each its own. a twin effect that was never meant to be.

the subject took his first step. breathed. a defeaning emptiness filled this volume. breathed even harder. the subject tries to kill this awkwardness. this attracted a few stares in his direction. the subject winced. blacklisted, never once an attribute to hold. the set was decorated with pretty ladies wearing pink dresses and flamboyant looking boots, their blonde hair often getting into the way of others. this was a stark contrast to what laid beneath the grand stands of a highly profitable space. black business, black money, black attitude - its true colours, black and only black. the subject thought, "they look so beautiful, so delicious." he allowed this thought to linger on for a few moments, but restrained from letting it evolve into a disturbing fantasy. he went on to look for his prey, one wtih little mind of her own, one with sufficient intelligence, one that bears a desperate cry for dependency or a pair of broad shoulders. some look at such as an extra bonus, yet some treated it to the likes of a nirvana. the man was looking for a prey who falls nicely in place in the latter category.

ths emcee took his place behind the rostrum on this grand stage decorated with a variety of different coloured lightings. the purposeful post rock music chosen afted so much discussions and under intense scrutinity made up the atmosphere for the night. this night, with no qualms or considerations, was so perfectly designed with the touch exuding massive professionalism. the man thought like a cowardice, quietly taking in this setting as a consolation upon submitting himself to the notion that this mission never possible was indeed impossible. this was his only weakness, yet it would and had been proven to be costly - he never once did manage to pounce on his prey. they only remained as his preys, and never once did he calls them his 'prize', as so many of his accomplices did. he was mocked at, made a laughing stock on numerous occassions, and even scolded by his fellow comrades in crimes for being nothing more of a coward. he was almost expelled from this Game which would definitely have led to the introduction of an invinsible facade placed on him. the world would have sucked without this Game, and this did not necessarily applied to him only. this Game was for the gentlemen in this world, those who were willing to fight for the chance to beget what is explained in so many different forms in our everyday lives.

he made some serious considerations which would later on, proved to be life-changing in the correct circumstances. that is of course, with the backing of his lucky stars. he was desperate. desperate for years already, desperate for his prey already. yet in such mean circumstance, the subject was ready to wait and pick the right one. it wasn't his intention to mimic the behaviour of a patient cassonova - he did not possess the luxury of waiting and picking. but at the back of his mind, he decided that it was for the benefit of the media and its attention it will harness. he wasn't seeking for a temporal attention grabber. he was looking for one that will make history, so much so taht in years to come, this very night will be marked down in the calendars of household after household for the most horrible crime ever committed. not only was he desperate for his prize, he was also desperate to prove a point to his comrades in the company.

this was his onjly singular attribute worth mentioning - to prove a point. it was his only cause in life, a lifebuoy to keep him afloat (although just minimally afloat). he was headstrong to his own benefit, never ever contemplating the node of giving up, the node of failure. he made up little lies to set himself up to a superior level above his friends - it wasn't necessary. he was interesting enough and capable in many aspects. when he praised himself, he didn't see the need to make up a devious storey. when he praised himself, it was always the truth, never a lie, and he decided that he has had nobody to blame for making his life story difficult to believe. he deemed himself as a righteous man, loyalty and honesty at the peak of his checklist in whatever he does. unfortunately, his friends often think otherwise. sometimes, it baffles him, but at these times, he'd proudly bathe himself in all that glory, knowing very well that it was done to offer a form of unnatural self consolation to each its own. he always take such instances in his stride, acknowledging his friends' denial in him acts as a most powerful tool in boosting his confidence. he works and fights by his very own theory, an extremely comprehendable principle behind it - if you know you're going to fail at the end of the day, at least make the best out of the process, and should you one day come face to face with a devil who is thrice that of your stature, don't ever admit defeat. land your fist on his face at least once, for if you die, you will still be proclaimed as the Brave One.

tonight, he prayed his only advantage would not be put to test. crime, was it considered one.? crime, was it against the law, or merely against the law of customary depicted by lame-thinking culture - they say the good looking can stand alongside the pretty.

tonight, the good looking can stand alongside the pretty, but the beast will break out of his shell and seek what he rightfully deserves.

the beast allowed his malicious looking teeths out, warning the guests of the night of his ulterior motive. he donned a handsome suit, though the buttons around the waist area threatened to make their escape. the beast couldn't be bothered. he wanted his prey to be willing, to reciprocate dutifully what he can and will offer. he wasn't a fan of one-sided affairs - you show him some love, he'll show you his. and this attribute of his was to be retained even when he pick his prey. he scanned through the dancefloor in a gradual fashion - he didn't want to miss a single dress, a single pretty face. at times, he stopped and looked for a few moments, but never once did he stop for more than 5 seconds. he would look at them and distinguish in his thoughts if it would lust and love he was feeling - it was lust. he picked out 3 or 4 pretty faces in the busy mess of this function. the beast considered carefully. he weighed the advantages over disadvantages.

a simple melodious tone beeped from his phone. he had to pause his thoughts. the beast destested interruptions. he felt it was rude and unnecessary. nonetheless, he picked up the call and in a matter of minutes, was joined by a fellow female comrade. she was there to pick out a target too after months of heartbreak.

the beast reminisced happy moments with the fellow comrade. he had went through moments where both parties would laugh heartily, arms across one another. but there were times where the beast was forced to share the woes of his favourite female comrade. he'd provide great company, something he thought he was really good at, and would often wipe the tears off her puffy eyes and pale cheeks. nonetheless, they'd always end up in the friendly refuge of the arms of one another. it would always be a happy ending when the both of them came together as one.

as the beast resumed his thoughts about the 3 pretty faces he had picked out, her fellow comrade nudged him. she questioned intently about his present situation - he had managed to point out the 3 pretty faces among the sea of guests after quite some time. it was, unexpectedly, met with serious protests. then it all happened.

their laughters turned into a serious gaze. they looked at each other, and it was uncontrollable. the beast loves thinking, loves weighing the odds, and what better time than to put his habit to good use - he thought about the hurt this little girl had sustained over the years, the unhappiness brought to her, and the useless thing she once called her 'boyfriend'. each time unhappiness struck her, the beast would somehow have the same unhappiness aura wrapped around his entire being. the beast would offer advice and would never restrain letting loose his heart of care and concern. and tonight, while he looked into the familiar eyes of his fellow comrade, he suddenly realised that this care can evolve into something bigger, and this concern, something more determined. these thoughts rained down unto him in quick succession, and all within that moment of quietness, he had thought things through and concluded that she, the prey he was looking for the entire night, was right there in front of his eyes. she was right beside him all these desperate years of crave for the Game.

as he looked her in the eyes, the beast could sense that she was thinking along the same line as he was. the beast breathed. mission never possible was going to be possible in a matter of seconds. breathed even harder. he bowed his head shyly. a hideous man. he finally looked up and made his heartfelt confession, that of simple vocabularly, that of utmost cliche, that of nothing but a true, bona fide, confession. an outspoken one. the beast laughed at himself for taking up this mission in the very first place - no reason to do so when the prettiest face is right there all this while. he laughed at himself for attempting to pick out pretty faces among the crowd of guests. he laughed at himself for being so desperate all these years. he laughed at himself for having the fear of expulsion from the Game.

he laughed at himself with great deliberation because all this while, the beauty he was looking for was all along right there, beside him. his greatest friend was now his greatest companion, his greatest partner, his greatest steady, his greatest flame.

in this beautiful setting, they looked each other in the eyes, and ventured into each other's arms. it was a familiar hug, but tonight, this familiar hug had an entirely different dimension to it.

it rained an affection, an affection so great, disregarding customs that the good looking will always walk alongside the pretty so vulgarly, it is almost a crime. an affection so great, the people who once thought nothing of the beast will now envy him for all the right reasons.

the beast, never once lifting the gaze off his beauty, inched forward and in a glorious fashion, presented his first kiss to the beauty...

an intimate contact, a sound congregation, a quiet night, this pitch black crime scene screams abhorrence - a loud heartbeat progressed to a million offsprings. and they were the dilapidated victims of Fear. in this one night, the subject has been commissioned to a mission never possible - a timid first timer constantly in self-denial, a hideous man yet an outspoken one, the state of mind ever changing on detection of the slightest of suitability to each its own. a twin effect that was never meant to be. tonight, his fate has been presented to him.

Under the pipal tree, You are there.

Under this moonlight, Happiness: We're In This Together.

2010-01-18T23:52:00.002+08:00

i honestly never thought a relationship could be so advantageous and enriching. you shed some good light, and i'm happy i gave my very first to you. always remember this line: under the pipal tree, you are there, with a pair of birkenstock mayari, i love you. insanely goooood to be true mite, too good to be true...

2009-12-14T12:32:00.001+08:00

DAY 5 - 95 minutes till i breathe again.

i am awaiting for your arrival. let's romance this entire situation all over again.

2009-12-13T16:25:00.003+08:00

DAY 4 - there are some remedies worse than the disease.

"Hi baby you anticipating an overseas call? Hahah. Using my mum's phone to text. You sound so depressed. Miss you, thinking of you every moment! K don't reply. Hehe."

now i can finally make reference to my favourite TWDY song. it's a relief to know that in this abyss of love, it is duly reciprocated when i am thinking of you.

yet your calling was a rare and much needed nodal point, so much so that it has transformed into a mild addiction to get the day going.

that's why i say, there are some remedies worse than the disease.

2009-12-12T02:49:00.004+08:00

DAY 3 - A True Story.

hi diary, today turned out to be the least painful day. for once in my 2 years of education in singapore polytechnic, i am giving thanks to the submission datelines given to me, and stop guessing - i cannot be in a clearer state of mind right now. i woke up this morning and felt this searing pain in my head. i am not the type of person who will experience migraines every other morning, and i am pretty sure i have recovered fully the last time you passed your flu to me. i cannot confirm the cause of this throbbing headache and i am reluctant to blame it on a subject. but frankly speaking, i am in utter suspicion that this definitely has got something to do with your absence.

oh yes, i mentioned something about appreciating my submission deadlines. you know, it is scary - it is scary how we are given so much work and are forced to complete it in such a short span of time; it is even scarier that my classmates possess such good time management that on top of completing the given workload way before the deadline, they are working on extra drawings and documentation for their portfolio (which spoils the "market" apparently and forces substandard student to put in extra effort, should they want to aim for a better grade); and it is most scary that you get physically bullied in class by students who are raring to try their newly learnt mixed martial arts submission moves. i think i have fully explained why at times, some of us are in detest of our course.

you must be confused how somebody can actually be grateful of something they hate. today, i finally managed to find a suitable example to explain the meaning behind this love-hate relationship. i was busied the entire afternoon, trying to complete my assignment which was due at 6pm in the evening. i was confused - somehow, i managed to get you off my mind the whole time i was photoshopping. i couldn't understand how that was even possible. you know how they like to say that sometimes, it is easier than done.? this was a reverse - suspending thoughts of you seemed to be so much more easier in actuality. i don't know why, but the moment i was done with my photoshop and left alone not knowing what to do, thoughts of you came raining in immediately. i thought this was supposed to be easy...

and then i finally understood what i was feeling. it was but a temporal numb that drove my thoughts into a different avenue. so you see, you're not me and i think you can barely comprehend what i'm going through right now - for me to actually be fond of something i used to dread speaks loud and clear of my readiness to engage myself in sacrificial acts.

at 11pm in the night, shahridan and i was strolling along the full length of the sea at west coast park. there was this something, this ghost which hit me hard each time i see a couple lying down on the rocks, gazing up into the starry night sky accompanied with a glorious frame of the infinity horizon of the sea. and mind you, i think the rate of couples as expressed in ratio to each step i took was an unfortunate result of 1:5. that wasn't really helping much when my intention of finding company was to get you off my mind. that is of course besides the fact that it's always relaxing to have a nice supper with my shahridan.

right now, i still can't believe i made that last minute turn at 215 in the morning to take the clementi road up to signature park instead of my usual route, which, of course, saved me from a few moments of displeasure if i was to drive home by toh tuck because i had to inevitably pass by the jalan lempeng neighbourhood.

let's see, i think i am not exactly looking forward to tomorrow's usual soccer thing.

you know, i just got this book from gerald and it is titled have a little faith by the famous author of the five people you meet in heaven, mitch albom. i think it is speaking to me somehow. i need to have this faith that you'd be taking care of yourself and be back in one piece for me to cuddle and hold you again.

okay, i think i'm done. let's try and sleep now. goodnight.

PS: coincidentally, the front page title of the book is accompanied with the 3 words 'A True Story'. it must definitely be talking to me.!

2009-12-10T20:06:00.002+08:00

DAY 2 - the battle has begun.

it is official - i have lost my sanity.

it has only been 2 days. i have only myself to blame for describing yesterday as an extremely mundane day, the luxury of time provided to take notice of the littlest of details in every single movement and change of state. this concluding reflection brought to light the culprit of the state i am in now. this afternoon, while i was showering and preparing to leave the house for school, my handphone rang. abandoning that phone call as i was running late for school, i continued my bath. half a minute later, the house phone rang. i knew it was you, for it is only you that will trap yourself in a frenzy to look for me, to go all out just to hear my voice, just to have some sort of connection. i quickly dried myself and with a towel wrapped around my woah-so-damn-buoyant waist, i made a mad dash for the house telephone. beautiful, almost enchanting thoughts raced against each other in my mind - will i be too happy to even speak, or will i start bombarding you with lovely words trying to prove how much i really miss you in my dire straits? that 3 second race to the house telephone seemed so prolonged. i picked up the caller - the heart pulsated so quickly in a desperate state owing to that sprint but more importantly, the instantaneous adrenaline rush which intruded my body in an almost vulgar manner. i was up for it and with all honesty, i'd do anything just to hear your voice, let alone see your face.

yet my hopes were dashed right after a fraction of a second i picked up the call. the caller was a man looking for my dad. i miss you so much that every single medium encouraging any form of connection overseas has led to my overly-sensitive reactions.

i can't believe that at 18 years of age, and studying at a polytechnic at tertiary level, one can still get involved in an exceedingly childish brawl. i am in absolute embarrassment and regret to inform you that today, i was such a person. let's not get into details, for they will definitely turn me into a laughing stock. but i must say that this was my confirmation and acknowledgement that yes lynette, i have lost my sanity officially...

your absence, my longing. no, will you please come back.?...

2009-12-10T00:53:00.004+08:00

DISCLAIMER NOTE: THIS IS BUT A FICTITIOUS PARODY OF THE TWILIGHT SERIES. BUT I CANNOT MEAN IT ANY MORE THAN THIS WHEN I SAY THAT I MISS HER.

DAY 1 - 120 minutes.

it took me two hours from the time i woke up for the truth to finally set in. this emptiness so deadly, unhurriedly seeping through and into my once healthy veins. a lack of concentration forced me to take into account each individual passing detail - every breath seemed so intricately put together, each footstep seemed to make a thunderous tumult, every single line drawn on my architectural plans seemed to reflect my painful effort with brightness, the dragging of a single cigarette seemed to have done even much more harm than what it would have normally offered, the process of using utensils to bring my lunch up to and into my mouth was surprisingly anticipated at short intervals - it is just that inability to concentrate on the things that i should be doing, that once-had willpower losing its function, the empire brain slowing things down instead of helping out.

and then i wondered (i probably wondered more, blankly, than doing what i was tasked to do for the day).

i confirmed a sensible conclusion.

and then i reconfirmed.

i confirmed this reconfirmation and typed it down in today's blog entry. my conclusion reads: i miss you so much already you're all that i'm thinking of.

2009-11-13T01:39:00.005+08:00

everything we do is always for the better good. we look forward, and never backwards. yet we sometimes sing a sorry anthem and lie, cheat and steal to attain that something; we tell lies in a desperate frantic state, we design a dishonest proposal to quicken the process, to cut things short, we take things that belongs to others without a formal warrant or permission. nonetheless, we all have one thing in our minds - it is for that something, for the better good, for the future. sad sad situation, that it becomes a normality nowadays that we cause distress to others - the boss tells me that you'll only succeed if you're aggressively brutal enough. sometimes, he even explains the underhand methods in a presentation, and it is always done so naturally and with the mortifying rational explanation that we should always be on par with the other companies in the industry. i sulked, i hesitated, but i've come to terms that i'm but a play-doll that probably chose the wrong route when i sent my job application weeks ago to be manipulated at all means and at all costs, even if it means taking my life.

we're but a toy exhaustively exploited every single day by ~~god~~ a ghost. we're but tireless workers in a factory, repeating the same process of attaching the same teeny mechanical keystone to the same bigger picture, for the larger picture. we are the biggest victim of this set order designed by a ghost, the ghost, and i reckon we keep our mouths mum and follow this dismal arrangement, for we can never battle the consequences it beckons for us. we can make desperate pleas for change, we can sought out differences and make a loud and logical comparison, but you must understand - WE. ARE. SERIOUSLY. BUT. A. FUCKING. TOY.

just shut up and fight against this ghost, just unite with your compatriots and fuck neutrals, needless to say, your enemies. just, shut, up, and live. live with the heart of a teenager, live with angst, and live like there's no tomorrow.

and tonight, for once, i breathe the air of an atheist.

we are but a fucking toy.

p/s: just shut the fuck up.

2009-09-24T02:16:00.004+08:00

what, it's been more than a month since i last had a proper blog entry. one month and tons of happenings. i have to begin somewhere, so here goes.

on the 30th of august, i was handed a photographer's pass which read JOEY THE PHOTOGRAPHER. gerald informed me over the phone while i was on my way to esplanade and found it weird. i mean, from all the past photographer's passes that i've been awarded (EH LIKE GOT ALOT, EH LIKE GOT MANY, EH LIKE I SUPER PROFESSIONAL), none of structuring of the status read something as blatant and clear cut as this one. most of the time, the passes that i've been handed would bear my name in bold and accompanied with a smoothed 'PHOTOGRAPHER' just below it. this one got my attention, and it should get yours too. you can check my facebook out for a picture of it because the internet connection here is horrible and it will take years for me to upload just one picture. yes, please do check out the photos i took of DAY 3 OF BABYBEATS, featuring anberlin and lunarnode at the esplanade outdoor theatre if you haven't done so. that'll make me a happier man.

anberlin was... the word 'good' sounds so mainstreamish use of vocabularly but seriously, they were quite everything-that's-related-to-good gooooood. they definitely can do a live show. that lead vocalist, whatever his name is, with that premature wrinkles on his soon-to-be mature face, ah whatever that fucking means - i'll just use the noun that old guy in future. that old guy, though old, looked surprisingly vibrantly young. okay, i can't do this. just... you know how slightly older man with very evident wrinkles and detailings on their faces can sometimes be sooooo alluring and still good looking, if not more good looking than when they were younger.? i dno, i think i'm doing a good job confusing you guys here. they had for themselves and the crowd an awesome acoustic set and if there was one man in the stands who thought they were a-okay only that night, he must have been a heavily turbanised terrorist with 16 grenades as his gucci belt. for sure. for a motive. for an ulterior motive. for an ulterior motive to bomb singapore.

i went to the back of the stage (not gna use backstage because it sounds so damn exclusive huh but no, it wasn't. everything was quite open and was cordoned off only by a not-so-threatening hanging metal chain which can be manually unlocked by anyone) and tried to enter into the Area with the capital 'A', thinking on that very day, anyone who owns the pass will own you and your family. somebody stopped me, so i had to settle for shots outside the Area. i took a spot right at the front of the stage and was standing beside this madman who screamed and screamed and was way off pitch (definitely tone-deaf) and i dno - did he forget that they were playing an acoustic set.? that old guy was serenading our asses real goooood even when he sang Feel Good Drag but that screaming maniac went YOUR LIPS! YOUR LIES!!!!! YOUR LUST!!!!!! LIKE THE DEVIL'S IN YOUR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

again, check my facebook for photos.!

do you know that i had 2 super heavy lowepro bags across my shoulders for one band and one band only.? lunarnode disappointed me, in all honesty. but hey, they got their asses up on that very stage through rounds of auditions. i dno how many bands went up for it but it's definitely a friggin big deal to be able to stand there and play your self-designed music, and sell your cds in the mini flea, your merchandise, your everything. i was wearing a lunarnode tee shirt that very day with my head up in the air. enough of this. so gerlet can you please send me fugu right now.? please.?

the last part was. WOW laaaaa. i was standing behind people who were taller than me and let me say that i've been caught in this situation a couple of times thankyouverymuch. you know, my friends frequent clubs, and they love persuading me to go to one. "JOEY 18 YEARS OLD ALR.!!! MUST TRY.! CONFIRM MUST TRY ONCE IN YOUR LIFE ONE.!" so i remembered the very first time i actually went to a club. oh and mind you, it was an underage party event so -.- singapore poly organised this one for the freshmen. *dictates mysteriously and thus, very slowly* i walked into this club and it was very, very, very dark in it. there were many people in it. many people... they started this party with an emcee leading games and stuff. then suddenly, "let's hit the dance floor," and a sitting joey suddenly gets buried in handbags, specifically eileen's, sulin's, and huichin's. nice. back to the point - yes, standing behind very tall people. i couldn't see a single shit. i thought to myself, "i can't waste this chance. i'll probably only get to see them just this once in my entire life." i haven't yet paid for a single concert in my entire life. then i remembered the very day where ma girls back in da club threw their handbags at me, and we are still friends right now. so, i practically threw my camera bags into ben's care, and walked right straight into the middle of the crowd, just right behind the moshing people, as shahridan followed suit, leaving my GIRLFRIEND HAHAHA GIRLFRIEND WOOO THIS WORD FUCK NICE TO USE GIRLFRIEND behind. the last time shahridan and i was at ignite (FIRST DAY ONLY, FIRST DAY IGNITE JOEY X SHAHRIDAN. SECOND DAY I DNO WHAT HAPPENED LO), one moshing person (ha sounds like loose lego pieces) banged into us. both of us stood there like immovable rocks. yes, we did try a couple of head bangs but thought we looked quiiiiiite weird. i clapped when the crowd started clapping. they jumped but i didn't, and my best defense was that it was for the better of everyone present, lest i influence the first richter reading in the lion city. so we stood there and really listened quite intently. this time, when we settled down at a spot right behind the moshing people, we started head banging, we started moving, i disregarded whatever the richter scale would read and started jumping like mad. anberlin was freaking kick ass to the max. they were really great live, really super. the people behind me had to lift up their hands in defense because i think i was moving too much (wouldn't put it pass them if they blogged that they were standing behind 'moshing people' and i was one of them hurhur). do you see the progression.? from immovable rocks to rocky rocks (sounds very flinstonesque). i told shahridan, the next time we go for a mega gig like this one, we'd officially be part of the moshing people alr.

that day ended with a very boring ben, a very unimpressed nigel (who told ben that all their songs sounded the same with the same chords blaring through the amps with the same tone), but hundreds or thousands of very very satisfied fans, i assure you. especially the last part where everyone shouted for an encore, and as a group of malays taunted as they walked away from the crowd after the last song, "encore cannot get you home, go catch last bus ah", THAT OLD GUY and his band took the stage once again and played FINNNNNNNNNNNNN. that one i went crazy when the song matured and the drums came in with an extremely out-of-the-norm stinging crasssssh ah.!!!!! maaaaaad night.

that was my baybeats adventure.

let me tell you something, and i won't describe this 'something' as surprising, or shocking, but just... something. my family, once again and as usual, had encountered with another maid problem during this holiday. this time, adeline took the iniative, knocked on my mom's door a few times before entering to see a snoring 50-odd year old lady sleeping soundly on the queen-sized bed. she called out, "mam.. mam..." the sleeping beauty didn't respond, still deep in her sleep. adeline called out once again, "mam... mam..." finally, the sleeping beauty awaken-the-dreamer and gave an extremely confused look, because it is rude and uncommon for an employee to wake his/her employer up when he/she is having a glorious afternoon nap. adeline dropped the bomb. no she really did, because after dropping this bomb, the sleeping beauty immediately shot up from the bed and made several phone calls, before deciding to send her to the agent's place and away for good. my mom didn't even bother to shout at her, to scold her, to reprimand her. she simply instructed her to pack her bags and be gone for good.

The Bomb: adeline, almost in a whisper, said, "mam, my cousin buy air ticket for me, i tonight 8 pm go home." okay just wait right this very moment. let's give this maid a round of applause because frankly, i genuinely think we should applaud her for her proactiveness with a tinge of courage. okay not a tinge, with a full bucket of courage.! an air ticket. her action definitely spoke louder than words. and very loudly. so wait. now, who's the LOUDSPEAKER.?!

and then i counted 11 days after the first of september - i purchased 2 very beautiful bloody red pair of vans at warped. one for myself, and another for my GIRLFRIEND GIRLFRIEND GIRLFRIEND I LOVE THIS WORD GIRLFRIEND to commemorate our 2nd month of... love, happiness, and bliss.................... AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW LYNETTE DON'T YOU JUST LOOOOOVE ME.

k soli, veli disgusting.

what else... .... i got myself hooked onto this hong kong drama and it's not very likely of me to watch a hk drama because it's all in cantonese but this one really did got my attention. wait, just listen to this - the viscious step mother did something really bad to try and break the family apart while the matriarch, the big mother, was away from home. when she returned from london, she wanted to sort things out, and asked for the step mom to pack her bags and leave this home for good. the step mom pleaded innocent, and asked for evidence, and the big mom gave a super duper reply which sometimes make me wonder where these script writers get their inspiration from. so fluently influential. and then i realised, they got it from me. YEAH. the big mom said, "this house is not a court. i don't need evidence. my eyes are the judge. LEAVE." wah kena own. i remembered changing my facebook status in admiration of her, that one day, when i become a father, i want to be as influential as her.

to reach the extent of watching a hk drama during the holidays (and still not mentioning the countless and aimless facebook comments i made on almost everything on almost everyone's profile) really shows how lonely this boy got. because of the absence of a helper, the fact that i'm on a long holiday and had never intended to find a holiday job, plus the nearing exams for both my elder brothers, i was made to do the housework. do you know how disgusting is it to use your bare fingers to scrape off the remaining rice, drenched in thick curry gravy, with long and sharp fish bones, and threatening prawn heads and shells down the dustbin.? and then when you finally finish washing the dishes, you look up and your hand smells of a bad combination of dish washing liquid plus all the dinner crap, and yes, they become soggy little fingers. and it's not helping at all when i have a bad habit of biting my finger nails, which make them look ridiculously short.

okay i'm done for a month's of update. i don't have godlike memory. that's all that i can recall. anything that happened during this month but wasn't mentioned here will only tell you that i haven't put in any consideration or you haven't left me a deep enough impression to be riverbelow-worthy. just like huichin's birthday. so ya, goodnight, as i disappear from the 26th of september to the 30th of september.

2009-08-14T01:56:00.003+08:00

primer 2 is taking up most of my time currently. like a formal announcement of a hiatus away from this blog is quite unnecessary since i'm not much of an avid blogger, but i guess i just wanted to type something on this much neglected white keyboard of mine. do you know that UNZIP won me $50 worth of HMV voucher after coming in 3rd place in the ABE's annual talentime.? it's been one whole year since i ever played an instrument for a proper cause, for a reason. feels good to get the pat-on-the-back from the friends who came down, be it specially or not, the other friday when the 3 of us walked out of the auditorium to a sea of greedy ABE students lashing out at the buffet trays and water dispensers.

this, came in the nick of the time to refresh the appreciation the man sought over the past few weeks.

P/S: if fabregas leaves arsenal, i will... i will... i tell you i will... ... i dno man, i really dno... ): ): ):

2009-08-05T23:01:00.003+08:00

my body is feeling numb now. but wait, how can you actually feel something when you're numb.? then i realised the only feeling you can feel when you're numb is to feel numb. okay, just let the drowsiness take over me.

i warned shahridan on a friday night that he should consult a doctor, what with all the incessant coughing, and being exposed to a H1N1-infested community like RP all the more gives him an extra reason to do so. i saw him the next morning at soccer, my advice out of goodwill blatantly ignored. i reminded him again throughout the time we were together. he coughed into my direction several times accidentally, but coughed once right at my face which was instantaneously followed by his proud and victorious laugh for god knows why (almost a bkb).

a day later, i coughed during dinner.

2 days later, i waited 3 hours and 15 minutes for the clinic's queue number to jump from 6 to 21. 3 minutes into consultation, my doctor explained that obesity is one of the H1N1's risk factor, and commented that i shouldn't worry too much. i opened my eyes, stared at him with a confused look, and asked, "so you're saying i'm not obese.?"

dr yap replied, "i don't think so. when i say obesity, i meant those with a bmi of 30 and above."

i said with so little confidence, "er... *awkward pause* i think i'm at least a bmi of 30." now, dr yap took out this circular apparatus with 2 arrows, 1 pointing to what should be the height, and the other pointing to the weight, which coincides together in the centre point which denotes the index of the bmi.

so he questioned, "what's your height.?" i told him my height, and without waiting for him to question again, told him my weight. he stared at the apparatus nonchalantly, before assembling a weak and shy smile. he looked up and, "yes joey, you happen to fall under that category, my mistake. i will need you to rest at home for 2 days and monitor your health. gives you another reason to lose some weight."

nice. i hate the incapability of modern day doctors. the last time i went for a checkup because i thought i had some serious sort of muscle atrophy, the doctor told me that i must have been engaged in exercises that are too rigorous for me to handle. the doctor suggested i patronise a gym and make use of that cycling machine thing which never did appeal to me because hey... how smart can you look, kicking effortlessly in mid-air and still yet remain at one same spot even after 45 minutes of sweat pelt-down?

and then now this. it' always obesity huh.?

2009-08-01T04:30:00.004+08:00

okay, let me tell you something. soh jiatong and joey teh ru yen from SP DARCH of year 1 class 05 and 06 teamed up and sang our own rendition of... yes, britney spears' hit me baby one more time (you read it fucking right) to a panel of judges from the BE club who were very impressed. i sensed that split-second shock when my singer announced into the video cam that we were going to do a britney spears' cover on hit me baby one more time.

are you interested.? you can get tickets at $2 only for the finals. i hope we manage to serenade your badasses with this every-household-known number, because we are _____ (yet to find a band name), and we love you.!

i just had a wonder-talk with wonder-girl, lynette, a few moments ago at my pool, and i tell you guys something... i really really really am happy being with her. not a single doubt and super duper jesus-christ cross my heart. the new trend nowadays - FML, FML, FML, FML. i also wna use. FML - Fill My Life. duper cheeszzzzy.

goodnight, saturday, as usual, is when you can witness a ball chasing a ball (super familiar resonance in the fat ears) at ayer rajah street soccer court. hehe.

2009-07-25T01:54:00.005+08:00

i had a horrible day today. this, i will elaborate in the most shrewd way possible. the fact that riverbelow just had 2 faithful consecutive blog entries calls for some serious attention. will you care enough to give me your attention.?

when was the last time you praised somebody.? when was the last time somebody praised you.? is it a big mission to you for once to put your smelly fagged mouth to good use and praise somebody.?

they say i think too much and deep into things, so much so that i tend to alter the situation and manipulate it wayward - the members of the misunderstanding and unhappiness arise. i don't care if you decide to close this browser right now or half way through it, or finish reading it and "oh okay," and move on as per normal. i really don't care. i won't try to deny - this is will be an emotional one. but this was designed with the mind of the crestfallen man who's had his fill of accumulating too much tolerance.

ONE, my group leader decided to tell me off in the most demanding of tones because i failed to complete my work. 4 long questions in total, 6 group members. being the most experienced one, i made an arrangement and assigned 4 of my 6 group members to complete 2 questions (that's 2 person per question). the first question was an easy 200 word concept write up which at most, needed only some form of rephrasing skills. i assigned this task to the laziest member of our group. i thought that i could juggle question 2 on my own. this assignment is due come monday. the first thing my group leader demanded of me was my share of work. here goes my fight - i explained that the particular group member who was supposed to do question 1 didn't email as promised his share of work, and that i was working on it. he asked about my supposed share of work for question 2. i kept quiet, surprised at his very demanding tone, which didn't match very well with his almost menace posture. my group leader finally shouted at me, as if the rest of the class in my studio needed to know, that i didn't complete my work. here goes my fight - Hi Sire, for your info, you were tasked to complete 1 question along with another group member. 1 question 2 persons. i would like to hereby humbly remind you that i'm working on 2 questions, and alone because the notorious lazy group member of ours decide to have 1 week's of mc on learning that he needed more time on primer 2.

i'm so proud and egoistical that i'll say this - you guys ought to suck my balls for 7 straight months for scoring your very first A+ in the pursue of attaining a diploma. get that.?! not get back at me each time you get to harp on my mistakes, my failure, my everything-that's-bad. i will be most interested in looking at your elevation and section drawings of primer 1.

have you ever been insulted.? have you ever been insulted so badly you lose that bounce in you to get back at that person.? have you ever been insulted so badly that you lose that bounce in you to get back at that person, and that person happens to be a man you've deemed best friend for a very long time.? i will tell you this - it sucks, and it sucks real bad.

here goes my fight - hello you, i remembered creating riverbelow for the purpose of reminding myself in years to come the good and bad times, and nothing of being the most famous local blogger. i don't write for a living, and i don't intend to. i open up my white coloured laptop and log on to riverbelow each time i need to boast of something, complain about something, or just plain describing that wonderful or horrendous day that i had. is this reason sufficient enough to put a stop to any judgements from you.? don't say that entry was rubbish, don't you ever say that.

my best friend wants to top me in everything that i do, and so badly that he caves into self-denial most of the time. i want to top another best friend of mine too, sometimes so badly that i got shot down and fall hard. so how do we resolve this.? should i step down already and look on admirably.? should i advise the other one to step down already and look at me in admiration.?

do you, at times, feel this crazy tinge of loneliness right at the most deserted corner of your heart.? no.? i'm overreacting.? i don't think so, cos i did, just 2 hours ago and at the expense of my best friend and my girlfriend.

for the last 2 days, i found myself succumbing to each of the requests 3 beautiful ladies proposed to me. one asked for a write up of a brief description of a competition she wishes to hold, another asked for my expertise in photoshopping with a layout she needs for a school project, and the other wanted to borrow my bus card for a friend who's not yet of legal age to enter a club. i don't know about this one, but is it right of me to say that i'm being quite well-used here.? i genuinely doubt any form of thanksgiving when i am done bequeathing my assistance.

my dad loves using the phrase 'jack of all trades, master of none' on his youngest son. am i your typical guy-friend next door.? i doubt i am. i have this thing for caps stylizing words like unity and anything that links up with the word crew; i once loved fishing because i thought it was a suitable activity for my friends and i to hang out together; i had this crave for bearbricks and toys but has since died down for a very long time, though it comes back to haunt me at times; if you omit my stamina-ability in your consideration, i think i make quite an average soccer player; i picked up the art of striking a white ball with a long wooden stick when i was 15 years old and am still into it; i am having this mild fixation on checkered shirts and loose-hanging chinos; i don't mind turning my next few months of supposedly good life into a tedious one just for that lovely bag that caught my eye; i love looking through the eyepiece of gerald's canon eos 400D and snapping shots for keepsake; i like to add on textures and build on contrasts and levels of each of my photo using special softwares and i can keep at it for 8 hours straight; i don't mind putting on a pink watch instead of a steel metal one when i have presentations; i secure my polka-dotted wallet with a karabina instead of sliding it into my back pocket everytime i go out; i just don't have that much of a thing for loud rnb music blasting and roaring for the crowd to shake it all out on the dancefloor. but that's about it. so, i question again, am i your typical guy-friend next door.?

the first time i told my mom that my photo was used in a malaysian magazine, she questioned, "got money take.?" i told her no and tried to explain the concept of building up one's portfolio but was cut off rudely by her thinking that 'then it's useless if no money's involved.' Hi Mom, please don't shrug me off like that.?

is giving me the thumbs up and the sweetest of smiles that hard to accomplish.? is it a big mission to you for once to put your smelly fagged mouth to good use and praise somebody.?

i was walking home, passed some traffic lights and bus stops, before stepping on a stone pavement slightly inclined leading up to my place. then i thought, who am i, where am i, what am i.? haven't i done enough to make a name for myself already.? haven't i helped you guys enough to deserve some form of reward.? haven't i impressed you guys in at the very least, one of the please-pick-one list of things mentioned above.? no.?

funny and timely how i designed my primer 2's concept of alternating the degree of transparency from opaque and gradually transiting to a climatic bare openess. turning transparent to the eyes of the world.

then i don't know what else i can do already.

here goes my final fight - today, Joey is probably the most unappreciated man in the whole wide world.

2009-07-24T00:56:00.001+08:00

hello everybody. i'm going to make this a quick and very pointless one, but i'll try to make it as purposeful as possible by typing it in point form. you see the link - pointless vs point form. cos i don't see any.

the girl gave me a harry potter magic scroll on a wednesday night.
i'm finished with primer2 and mr chieu grumbled quite a bit on how it's very wasted that i decide to let go of my studies and end up as a repeat student last year.
mr chieu and sherry gave me most positive comments for my model.
the class celebrated sherry's 32nd birthday, bought her 2 cakes and tried to make her wear a party hat throughout the crit though to no avail.
i am almost done with stage 4 and all the instructors commented that it shouldn't be a problem for me passing on first try.
the gerald just tried to teach me parking at signature park's underground carpark.
shaker fries is back and so damn fucking back and so damn fucking can't-get-enough-of-it.
i am going to sleep now.
it is getting increasingly boring.
but i am still at it because i'm trying to add on more points to this list to achieve a very purposeful entry.
oh and i just remembered that arsene wenger sold adebayor and announced publicly that "we're good enough and should have faith in our youngsters" the very next day, fuck you and thank you very much.
ashley cole did a super stunt by predicting that man city will kick arsenal out of the top 4 four, he should really fly to singapore to let me land a never-back-down *short breathing* killer knockout punch on his nose.
okay, i am done with this lame entry.
yes i seriously am.
i think i am already.
okay that's it, kwan just replied my text, so here goes - I AM FUCKING DONE WITH THIS ENTRY THANKYOU GOODNIGHT.

2009-07-24T00:56:00.000+08:00

the girl gave me a harry potter magic scroll on a wednesday night.
i'm finished with primer2 and mr chieu grumbled quite a bit on how it's very wasted that i decide to let go of my studies and end up as a repeat student last year.
mr chieu and sherry gave me most positive comments for my model.
the class celebrated sherry's 32nd birthday, bought her 2 cakes and tried to make her wear a party hat throughout the crit though to no avail.
i am almost done with stage 4 and all the instructors commented that it shouldn't be a problem for me passing on first try.
the gerald just tried to teach me parking at signature park's underground carpark.
shaker fries is back and so damn fucking back and so damn fucking can't-get-enough-of-it.
i am going to sleep now.
it is getting increasingly boring.
but i am still at it because i'm trying to add on more points to this list to achieve a very purposeful entry.
oh and i just remembered that arsene wenger sold adebayor and announced publicly that "we're good enough and should have faith in our youngsters" the very next day, fuck you and thank you very much.
ashley cole did a super stunt by predicting that man city will kick arsenal out of the top 4 four, he should really fly to singapore to let me land a never-back-down *short breathing* killer knockout punch on his nose.
okay, i am done with this lame entry.
yes i seriously am.
i think i am already.
okay that's it, kwan just replied my text, so here goes - I AM FUCKING DONE WITH THIS ENTRY THANKYOU GOODNIGHT.

2009-07-16T11:36:00.004+08:00

Hello you, let's dive straight into this and hear what I've gotta say, read what I've designed. This is my statement, my promise, my apology, my thanksgiving, my heartfelt, my testament, my song... ...

I've known you for so long - that familiar arm around the shoulder, that good make-use of forever messenger conversations, that cursive yet neat handwriting inked in letter exchanges, that consoling advising voice, that really hothotheat-mail stating 'if you were right here beside me, I'd have given you a tight and warm hug and a pat on the head', that out-of-your-world standup against a figure we ought to show some love and respect to when i'm being maligned, that everything-we've-been-through... All in all, that girl. You. That girl.

Here goes my embarrassing tell-tale, my loving account - you reappeared and broke that obnoxious steel heart where egoistical bad blood flows within with your smile. You showed and taught me how to care for somebody right. You sat under the sun almost faithfully on saturdays, watching how a ball chase a ball, how a ball kick a ball, and how a ball trip over a ball. You held my fat hands, looked into my eyes and told me that you love me. You wipe my sweat off my forehead each time I meet the blistering sun of Mother Earth (or not necessarily) which leads me to think of my friends whom I deemed close, each time they shun away when they get too close because suddenly, they're afraid of liquid substances from the body (maybe just a little pinch of salt... And oil-what-ever). You smile and say you're proud of me whenever I blabber on about the big future dream, instead of shooting me down by saying 'stfu you fucking repeat student.' like how the best friends might. You sat beside me into the wee hours of a weekday night and stare at some 2D lines, put the creative mind to some work, and imagine as interestingly as possible how 4 walls can be erected to form a space within. You did what most people wouldn't, because you're Lynette. Lynette Kwan Siew Fang.

On the 13th of July, your friends wished you a happy 18 years of life in this world. On the 13th of july, I wished you a happy birthday. On the 13th of July, I was the mastermind of one of the birthday surprises installed for you. On the 13th of July, we found a candle-lit strawberry and vanilla cake sitting atop the platform of your condo's playground. On the 13th of july, I told you how much I really love you. On the 13th of july, I told you how much I wanted you.

... ...And on the 13th of July, I finally made you mine. Because you're Lynette. Lynette Kwan Siew Fang. My Lynette Kwan Siew Fang.

P/S: times escape x smu nights festival sounded 78 times sweeter because asyraf said something like, "this song goes out to joey if you're out there." oh god... (Y) gerald koh. very superpower set, my heart most probably broke the ribcage with each bass daniaal kicked. thank god for the impenetrable thick lard of skin for securing the heart.

2009-07-02T01:50:00.003+08:00

HI. the man is very happy these few weeks -

(1) i scored an A+ for group work, primer 1 part 2.

(2) i passed my FTT on the first try.

(3) i have since booked my driving test date, which is on the 24th of august.

(4) the girl said, "my anger die off alr,"

(5) i garnered some bigass courage these few days and had some unjoey moments but it was all good and natural.

(6) one of the photos i took during lunarnode's gig at the esplanade outdoor theatre will be used once again in junk magazine.

(7) IEHAC posted my photo on their myspace page.

(8) ex electrico guitarist daniel sassoon is currently using my photo as his main facebook profile pic.

one last acceptance to make my life complete - to be one of the 4 selected baybeats photographer in the baybeats 2009 budding photographer competition. my submission goes something like this -

don't worry, coping quite well with schoolwork and whatnot. goodnight people, may you always learn to 'shit, you forgot something, you left your heart with me' with the people whom you love. corny phrases like, 'eh raining how.?' replies, 'i'll be your sunshine,' boosts da fun in pre-rel*********.

OR DOES IT NOT

2009-06-23T16:30:00.003+08:00

jeffrey deaver wrote 'There was a no-smoking sign on the wall but the woman continued to strangle a live cigarette between her ruddy index and middle fingers.'

ohwellllllllsssssssssssssssssssssss. whatever that means.

i am near halfway through stage 3. let's pray the tummy doesn't get in the way when arching my body backwards to have a view of the rear windscreen - the back pain still persists, and always intensifies at the worst of times. you know, it's tiring. i think that malaysian instructor must have found it weird because for the record, i must have been his very first student in what, his 10 years of teaching, to break sweat and in a relatively copious amount even though the fan of the air conditioning in the car was toggled to 2. and yes, just to add for further embarrassment - it was the 955pm slot.

my life at present revolves mainly around the coordination of the clutch, brake and gas pedal, and of course not forgetting the steering wheel which lightens the mood every single time because i'd imagine this piece of reflective medium, for example, a mirror, slipped in between the tummy and the steering wheel (IT'S ALL SOOO ROUND YES.?! WOOOO.! _|_), stoning at macdonald's pretending to be very interested in what the jc's chemistry textbook has got to offer (OHHHH NOW PLAY LIKE THAT.!!), thinking of seven hundred and sixty nine ways to get that blooody, like literally, red authentics, fictitious reading on how lincoln rhyme and amelia sachs work together to hunt down the Watchmakers (whoever that is), and last but not least, searching for escapism (not from the 'bustling city life' whateverfuckthatmeans but from.. i dno don't ask me) through going out with the swore-sworn-half-chinese-half-malay-like-schizophrenic-sial brother-from-another-mother and the very very very short girl who's always teaching me a lesson on how to be a better man, yessss girl.?

it's quite boring nowadays, no new caps to put on the head, no new songs to listen to, no upcoming gigs to take photos of, no superpower attractive movies to want to catch (nights at the museum 2 was a disappointment), no new shows on the tv, no new hangout place, no new superpower attractive must-try makan place... NO LIFFFFFFFFE AH KLA KA NIN NA BU CHEEBYE.

like that also gooooood, can save money for july. july veli important one leh. veli veli veli important... ... my grandmother's birthday.

2009-06-06T04:58:00.000+08:00

today is an awesome day, a feeling i haven't felt in a very long time. and there's no better time for this series of happy happenings to present itself on this last day of term 1, which marks the beginning of vacation. eh fucka sial i'm feeling the heat lehhh.

group r presented what they have prepared and achieved for the past 3 weeks and received some really positive comments. group r's short video clip was described as effective, arresting the clientale's mind, convincing and helped to sell the scheme successfully by a panel of 6jusges who emerged as very happy lecturers.

postbox's and trella's set at earshot did some serious shit, which if in the architectural context, would have been given the same feedback similar to that of my model as "arresting the audience's mood".

I guess the only thing i can complain about is our attempt to make use of our 18 years of existence in this place called earth, which ended 2 very innocent young men in a slightly drunkard stupor, and 2 very uncomfortable stomachs (where the smaller one's in a mission to top the larger one in circumference and weight).

the rest of the night till 430 in the morning, in the architectural context, would have been described as 'showing a steady flow and gradual change of elements in a set order' and 'the intended progression was apparent enough in your final model'.

AIYAH YOU ALL DNO ONE LA!

2009-05-28T01:13:00.000+08:00

LIMBEI IS VERY DONG BUAY DIAO.

2009-05-26T23:06:00.000+08:00

oh oh oh.
no no no.
don't you wna scream "oh no!"?

2009-05-21T01:01:00.004+08:00

eh i got quite a lot to talk about. let's just start from the day i met instructor Tan K K. Tan K K is your not-so typical driving instructor. his facial features reflect the years of smoking and drinking. he is not so skinny, yet cannot be described as fat. like any other driving instructor, he puts on his cream coloured button shirt, with his initials sewed on to his upper left pocket, and dons a nondescript black working pants. the black leather shoes he puts on every day must be one of the many souvenirs the government dished out when his son was serving the national service.

i was due for a 805pm lesson on a monday night. as usual, i had my reporting slip printed before proceeding to the circuit. Tan K K walked up to car 53. still conversing with his colleague, he extended his arm and asked for my reporting slip. i handed it over, and thought he wasn't that much of a polite gentleman. the session started proper. i cranked the lever under the driver's seat and tested if my left leg could fully depress the clutch pedal at a comfortable position. (of late, i realise that i didn't need to go through this test - gauging the distance between the steering wheel and the belly button seemed to be a much faster and less tedious method). Tan K K's first sentence of the day went something like, "okay joey. english or chinese.?" i told him that i was fine with both languages. throughout the entire 1 hour 40 minute session, we conversed in a mix of both english and chinese. car 53 was waiting on the downward slope exiting bbdc's circuit when Tan K K started on his mission to etch a memory in my head. he asked, "joey not girl's name meh.?" i told him that it was a unisex name, secretly dialed joeyho's number, and asked for backup, in which he in turn gathered the swat team in less than 5 minutes and positioned all of them on the stop line at the gate of the circuit. okay no, Tan K K didn't believe me, turned on the lights in the car, switched it off, and, "bu shi la, ni shi nu de la." you know, i'm probably the only 18 year old in my whole circle of friends who's infamous for having the shortest of hair. surely Tan K K has old fogey vision.

car 53 became first in the queue after waiting for quite some time, and while i was looking to turn left and out to the main road, Tan K K almost, in a scream, still holding on to my reporting slip, "ni shi Joey Teh ah. Zoe Tay la. zheng hui yu. ha ha ha ha ha ha." "mei you la." "shi la." "bu shi la." "shi la." and dno how many more times of that, until he finally gave up and showed some respect to the name. we were doing the usual rounds, in and out of the small lanes around the bukit gombak area. the only time he opened his mouth was, "turn left." or, "go straight," and at times, still not letting go of the fact that the pronunciation of my name has a splitting resemblance to that of zoe tay's, "joey teh ah zoe tay,". i think we did the usual rounds thrice, before he commented that i was quite a smooth driver. he started wandering into my private life, asked where i lived, which school i was studying, and so on. when i answered, "singapore polytechnic," i was met with an excited and instantaneous reply of, "bu hao de. i teach singapore poly and ngee ann poly students. ngee ann poly students prettier. singapore poly no pretty girls one hor.?" i giggled shyly. i told him i lived in signature park, and coincidentally, Tan K K used to stay in goodluck gardens, which is the apartment right behind mine. we switched our occupations and suddenly became property agents for a good 15 minutes, talking about how and why my parents moved from a landed property, to a 4 room apartment, then finally to a 3 room one, and discussed about the bad economy, so bad that my parents had to sell off our residence at a loss, and about how it is always a hassle to get ceiling leakages and all these little peripherals done leading to a high maintenance. all this while, i had forgotten that i was driving, and found myself concentrating even better than my previous driving sessions. my mind was at a healthy ease.

the mind, like in a snap-back-to-reality instant, suddenly reminded me of my learner-driver status. i was all nervous and was fighting to have full concentration on the road once again. instead of the usual left turn i had to take to return to the circling of the usual course, Tan K K told me to continue driving straight. And so i did. we reached a pedestrian crossing, and i brought car 53 to a complete stop carefully, seeing that an indian lady was about to cross the road. Tan K K x Racism x Sarcasm - "your eyes not bad ah. if it's me i cannot see i drive past alr," i laughed like crazy, a very small percentage oweing to the content of the joke, but mostly because my instructor has this old and pervetic pedophile face, that whenever he talks, his thick lips move and shake dramatically. it's his lips la, and he likes to chew air, chew at nothing, so this repeated image of the dancing of his thick lips was the only thing that got me laughing throughout my driving lesson.

unknowingly, we drove up to clementi interchange. we drove further up, till he instructed me to make a left turn down to clementi road. car 53 was at sunset way when Tan K K offered me a sweet. but because my both hands were occupied, holding on so tightly to the steering wheel because i figured my life relied on that circular thing, i told my instructor to wait till the next red traffic light. he let out a laughter, extended his right arm and at the same time, "bu yong jing de la. i help you drive first." gained grip on the steering wheel. i was stunned at first, and didn't let go of my steering wheel. his left hand criss crossed under his right armpit, and offered me that very important sweet that couldn't wait till the next stop light. slowly, i let go of right hand first, and then my left, picked up the sweet from his left palm, and immediately regained control of the steering wheel, the sweet cradled in between my palm and the steering wheel. Tan K K, still holding onto car 53's steering wheel, said, "you must open then can eat what,". nervous, scared, everything. i argued that the sweet could wait. but he kept on insisting that he would take control of the car. hastily, i let loose the steering wheel, unwrapped the sweet, stuffed it into my mouth, and threw the wrapper at the side compartment of the driver's door. i wasn't looking ahead and in front of the road for that 5 seconds i used to unwrap the sweet and put it in my mouth. crazy guy.

we drove past ngee ann polytechnic, and i was a bit stunned when he told me to continue going straight up that bridge, instead of continuing on to that small slip road down to beauty world or bukit timah plaza. Tan K K said, "your house very near here right. just now we at singapore poly. now near your house. i let you try the feeling la, the feeling you drive from school then back to home. steady ah?" seriously steady. i laughed at this quite hard. car 53 went through the underground tunnel and proceeded onto hillview, bukit panjang, choa chu kang, then back to the gombak area. Tan K K said because i was a smooth driver, he allowed me to go on a mini road trip, and that i was the first driver to drive so far away from school. i wonder if he does this to every other smooth student-driver, and says the same thing in conclusion. we had 20 more minutes to go, so it was back to circling around the small roads in the gombak area, when Tan K K asked a question - "car no petrol can move anot.?" i replied no, and he, "of course can la, you push can move alr." i know, this joke shouldn't even warrant the slightest of smile to an 18 year old but it was his facial expression that made me go crazy in the car. he asked again, "car got petrol, got engine, got tyre, can move anot.?" i agreed, and replied a, "yes," only to met with his disagreement, "cannot la. you never drive, how can move.?" dots x7 million. and then, very randomly, he asked me, "farmer A sell cow. farmer B sell chicken. farmer C leh.?" i told him that i didn't know the answer to his question, but he told me to try and answer his question. so i answered, "duck", realising that it was one of the few possibilities a farmer can relate to. then he said, "wrong. medicine." i was bemused, and asked why. guess what he answered me.? "farmer C ma, pharmacy ah, guardian ah. your mother go guardian buy duck one ah.?" this one, the car almost exploded. i wanted to run ourselves into a tree and perish together. i think it's worth it to die with such a old but vibrant man like him. fuck the fake shit.

we were on our way back, when Tan K K suddenly asked, "oh yah i never ask you. what course you study in sp now.?" i told him that i was studying in architecture. he nodded and told me that i had a future (obviously oblivious to the fact that i am a repeat student), and shared with me that he was once an engineer. "the other time, i study engineer. mechanical engineer. now i am neer-engine (flip the words)." i gave him a confused look and, "huh.?" him. he explained, "the other time engineer la, you flip the words, neer-engine. you see now i sit beside you, i everyday very near the engine, so i neer-engine lo." that was it. i wanted to open the car door and run 14 rounds around singapore because this man was trying to drive me crazy. i think i could have ejaculated at his jokes. for once, i was quite disappointed that my driving had to so quickly. you know they have this tag stuck onto the dashboard at the passenger's seat that reads, "SMILE, GREET AND THANK YOU." i think it was my most earnest and sincere, "thank you," to him in a very very very long time.

the following night, i was back at the driving centre again for another lesson, when i bumped into mr old Tan K K. i smiled and greeted him, and he told me, "you kena me la. i bring you go drive far far, johore also okay." fucking hell. if he was on auction for the Bid For a Grandfather, i'll gladly trade all my sc shit to bring him home.

school has been very noisy, very facebook-y, and i must say, very immature-y. i am nowhere near enjoying school. the people there are a mix of individuals such as ben tan and terencejit. ben tan is when a classmate comes up to me and explains, "eh i'm going to quit smoking ah. that's why i never buy. can spare one stick.?" or, "i social only la... friend smoke i smoke lo. social only." while he spends half his time during studio hours begging people for a stick. the, "i'm going to quit, that's why never buy. can spare one stick.? cos i know if i buy, i confirm will finish that pack, which i don't want to," excuse is so intricately thought of and i must say it's quite a good excuse. but honestly, how do you want me to react.? "oh you quitting ah.? okay okay okay okay okay okay i help you quit. here's one stick. don't buy one packet ah, don't ah. i rather you take a stick from me than buy one pack each time you really need to smoke." do you think i'll give that kind of answer.? I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU WANT TO QUIT SMOKING. YOU CAN DIE OF A BADLY TARRED LUNG CANCER AND BLAME ME AFTERWARDS FOR NOT ADHERING TO YOUR, "gotta quit, can't buy a pack, spare one stick," LOGIC. terencejit will be the clan of attention seekers that talk so much and so publicly, it's hard to not get familiarised with their voices. one apt example would be the story of The ______ Butterfly. you fill in the blanks with whichever adjectives you want to, because that was exactly what he did. i was concentrating really hard on my work when suddenly, this guy popped up in front of me and went, "Hi, I'm the Butterfly." he started jumping and, "I'm the Jumping butterfly." he made a 360 degree turn and, "I'm the Spinning Butterfly." the best part was that he even went through the trouble of using cardboards that were supposed to be used to build our models to make a mask out of it. so this guy went around with his mask and repeated whatever i have just mentioned to almost everyone in the studio. his voice resounded throughout the studio as he repeated these actions to everybody, and it was getting a bit too irritating for my ears, when suddenly, there was silence. this very much-wanted silence. for a good 15 minutes, i managed to concentrate on my work. i thought he became tired and was back at his desk for a rest. suddenly, the same guy with the same mask reappeared in front of me and started his 'self-introduction' once again - "Hi, I'm the butterfly." he started jumping, "I'm the Jumping Butterfly," he started spinning gracefully, "I'm the Spinning Butterfly," at this moment, i caught sight of what seemed like a brown bag strapped onto his back. i told him to turn over, and immediately understood why our studio had the luxury of that 15 minutes of blissful silence. on his back was a meticulously cut-out cardboard shaped in a butterfly-wing form and strapped around his neck with the use of scotch tapes. i salute him.

there's also this community of facebookers in my class who are more interested in their friend's results in different quizzes, and their what's-on-your-mind statuses. facebook is cool. i use facebook and i think it's an awesome interactive medium for friends. but can you please not use it during lesson time.? okay you can, but don't go around begging people to, "DO MY QUIZ LEHHHHHHH.!" and, "I TAG YOU THAT PHOTO OKIE." and, "EH I LEFT YOU A COMMENT, GO READ." and, "WAH I CRISTIANO RONALDO LEH.!!! OMG, I CRISTIANO RONALDO.!!" (if your fate and future can be calculated just by the answering of a few questions, we wouldn't need to go to schools or do a rock show on stage).

come up to my studio one day. you should be amused by this note pasted around the walls, "TO ALL YEAR 1 COHORT STUDENTS: WE HAVE RECEIVED COMPLAINS OF THE STUDIO BEING TOO NOISY. AS SUCH, STUDENTS WILL BE FINED $1.00 EACH IF THEY ARE FOUND TALKING LOUDLY/SHOUTING/BLAHBLAH/BLAHBLAH. ALL REPS TO ENSURE THIS," oh and just for you info, my class rep is that jumping spinning butterfly i talked about.

i haven't given any of my classmates my msn address, or any form of cyber identification. i think it's wise of me to not do so, after blasting them so publicly. hur hur hur.

i cannot imagine myself stuck for 3 years in the middle of all these year 1 fucktards. WHY DID I CHOOSE TO SLACK LAST YEAR WHEN I HAD THE BEST OF CLASSMATES.?!!

WAS SUPER DUPER GOOD TO MEET LHC EILEEN AND JH FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT WOOHOO SHOULD DO IT MORE OFTEN BABY.

p/s: the headlines today read, "Boy, 18, calls police: Movie too different from book."

2009-05-06T13:59:00.003+08:00

hello world. on the 30th of april, i walked the aisle of esplanade theatre, down the escalator and arrived at the esplanade waterfront stage. a guy named gerald-ine walked up to me and told me that the record label's (also the organiser of the gig) official photographer couldn't make it last minute. so, gerald-ine, being the very good and fat friend he is, proposed to the organisers that he has this really charming and cute friend, who loves hogging people's camera and of course, eating butter chicken and mr patrick at al ameen, that has a thing or two for what is better known as photography. i told gerald-ine this: this is when a bean will grow into a beanstalk, like the one in jack and the beanstalk.

13 minutes passed. my right pocket felt slightly heavier. the photographer's pass read Thomas Tan. but i thought it was fine. your photos are indeed perplexed, if it's a correct word to describe photos.

yesterday, the people at the W5a studio glanced through my documentation, and couldn't stop showering all these lovely praises on me i thought i was in the bathroom up in heaven. eh wah, damn nice leh X joey you're damn hardworking leh X omg are we expected to do this X eh you sketch until damn nice X your words like typed come out one X and many others. the people caught the attention of sherry, my lecturer, when she was walking past, and started all over again with their barrage of praises. i sat down there, looked down, and continued filling up the A3 pages to add on to my documentation. of course, this met with the protests of the people. eh you do so much stop doing alr leh. they told the lecturer to look at my work. i think she nodded. wait, i think she didn't. but that's not the point. because at the end of the day, she still commented that i was a repeat student. on hearing that, the people almost in a tossing action dropped my documentation on the table, and i thought i heard someone heaving an almost inaudible, "cheyyyy,". this is what i call punkrock and this is what i call we ought to seriously and immediately fuck the fakeshit.

after this torment, i was glad i had shahridan and lhc to meet up with. uniqlo was... plain and not exactly VERRRRY VERRRY VERRRRY cheap like what they claimed it was supposed to be.

at 0955, i was in area j, in car no.50, doing some leg exercises which involves the stretching of legs to successfully depress the clutch pedal. of course, that only applies to cute people like me. i think my instructor couldn't instruct because he didn't give me any instructions. beautiful sentence structuring there. he drove a few rounds the circuit, eventually stopped at this yellow line, and asked for a change of seat. mr instructor opens the door, steps in, sits down, finds the lever on his left, pulls it slightly to recline his passenger seat and proceeds to put his hands around his head in a total relaxation mode. i drove round the circuit a million times. the only time he spoke was when he felt i needed to up my gear. he went, "gear 2." and continued in his resting position.

i pay $68 to smell my instructor's armpit. luckily my seat is so far in front the stomach is having intercourse with the steering, and my instructor had his passenger seat reclined.

okay, i need a smoke now cos gerald just said, "roy's taking,".

2009-04-30T08:51:00.004+08:00

i have so many things to tell the whole world, i dno where to start.

in light of lunarnode's gig which commences in 10 hours' time, i want to say - i started my bbdc journey, the route to attaining a car license, in the month of march. i was exploring unknown territory then, not having driven a car before. i wanted to start off this journey with a bang, like that in cerveceria, but found out things weren't as smooth going as i thought it would be - in fact, i became less enthusiastic, as my instructor drone on and on about the theories of driving. i think i had contracted narcolepsy in this period of time. i was lazing off, reluctant to for my lessons. i wanted to get past this stage, and move on the next. in my Final Theory Evaluation, i met with a serious problem. my time escaped tremendously, and instead of paying $3.21 for an evaluation, i paid eight times that amount. from the first to seventh time i had failed, i felt depressed each time i learnt that i'd have to return to take the evaluation once again. on the eighth try, i completed by evaluation with a pass of 94%. this has taught me to learn to always void the negative. LAME.

2 days back, i took my place in the driver's seat proper, and almost got a cramp in my left thigh after 40 minutes of circling round the circuit. the first instruction my instructor instructed (okay not funny) me was to adjust my seat so that i am in a comfortable position. can imagine i recline my seat backwards, release the zipper on pants, remove the smelly zapatos, and give him a thumbs up and say, "wah comfortable." then light a stick and wait for his fist to land on my cheeks. i didn't move my seat, and gave him a nod. then when he told me i had to be able to fully depress the clutch before i have a proper seating adjustment, i think i shifted 13 km in front, break through the windscreen, and could almost touch the tail lights of the car in front. i had to move so much further in front before i could fully depress the clutch pedal, and having a less flat stomach didn't help much at all. the tummy was almost touching the steering wheel, my left leg, when clutched in, was feeling a sharp muscle tension. and the saturday-morning people at the ayer rajah can offer you a good and detailed insight when the joey gets a leg cramp. not nice, not pleasant - i let out a scream so loud, the people at underoath and static lullaby might offer me a singing contract. the instructor told me to rev the engine up to 2000rpm/min, and to hold the accelarator at that position. easier said than done. one last thing i ought to rant about before i go look for some food and grow fat - i looked around the circuit at least 3 times, before i realise the car i was in was the only one with the hazard lights on. WHY AH, ISIT BECAUSE THE INSTRUCTOR THINKS I'M A LOUSY DRIVER.?

but seriously, i kept envisioning myself in a car, and i tell you, i'm gna get all thick-skinned here and say I THINK I LOOK FUCKING CUTE IN ONE.!

7pm esplanade waterfront later, go leh, i lazy to say alr la. it's free. FREE YOU KNOW. THAT MEANS YOU SIT YOUR ASS ON ANY ONE OF THE ASCENDING CONCRETE STEPS, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, AND LET THE EARS DO EVERY OTHER THING. LEPAK LA SIOL.

... and the only thing i can tell you about school is, it was repetitive. HA what can you expect a repeat student to say.? it's back to the stick and planar models once again. but it felt really good when the previous year's classmates came and asked me for lunch. very nice and warm. the indian food tasted sweeter (crap, all the stinking mutton mixed with thick curry gravy, diu ley with the sweeter).

2009-04-23T01:36:00.007+08:00

it is true - i wanted so much to keep the identity in the low key, but baby lecturers thought otherwise. they called out my name any other time, resulting in a confused bunch of freshies. they asked, "why you so popular one ah.? why like everybody know you like that.?" popular... bad word. infamous. okie lo. one lecturer dropped the bomb, forcing me to finally give up and break the truth. she walked past my group of 9 while we were discussing which photos to use for our collage, and said, "group, if you all need any photoshopping help, i think joey can help you guys." FTFS in da housez.

we came in 3rd for the race at Mt Sophia, in which was quite a fulfilling and productive bonding thing in the sense that i managed to pick out a few of the freshies whom i should fuck away from. especially this one who almost called the straits time when i strapped my DSLR around my neck. he remarked, "eh you got a DSLR also ah.?! we're both pros lehhhh." *rolls eyes so hard the eyeballs are facing the skull* so this pretty boy asked for an exchange in camera to apparently, testttttttttttt. testicles baby. i reluctantly handed mine over, and while he handed his camera over to me, i very gentlemanly rejected it with a wave of hand. a gust of wind howled, my hair swayed in unison. very timely. i think i looked 6 times cooler than usual. the guy remarked, "eh your camera so light ah." his was a 450D. i sighed. people nowadays. i thought 450d was known for its compact and lightweight design.? he lined the eyeball along with the eyepiece, ready to take a shot. shutter sounded. he raised the camera slightly and reviewed the photo. "why your photo black black one.?" i dno leh, maybe just now you shoot your mother cb hair. i wanted so much to start on the lecture on the relationship between the shutter speed and the aperture, but decided not to. i replied casually that i was on manual mode. so prettttttttty boy nodded his head and gave a long 'ohhhhhhhhhhhh' in recognition and tried taking another shot. before he pressed the shutter, he looked up and away from the eyepiece, then at me and asked, "so how to change the shutter and aperture ah.?" awesome. very awesome. DSLR X Auto. then best part is you update your blog's profile, your friendster account, facebook, myspace, xanga, livejournal, and any other domain possible that you looooooooooooooooooove photography. i pointed to pretty boy the 2 toggles and he did another 'ohhhhhhhhhhhhh'. he shot again - the picture turned out to be much more under-exposed. he gave up. he passed my camera back to me. while walking towards the flight of stairs, he told another freshie, always standing beside him, "actually auto and manual shoot no difference one. both also DSLR." i imagined myself pacing the gap between us, look him right in the face, and give a salute so hard, i overshoot and smack myself in the balls. then i checked the shutter - 1000. i thought i was on 125 initially.?

freshies FTW. i love em, yellow, blue, coldplay la she, knnz cross nbz. awaiting a whole new set of colours baby. everton makan chelsea at 3am.

2009-04-20T03:21:00.004+08:00

small world is when i get up reluctantly, accompany my mom to the singapore flyer to see my dad's makeshift booth in a car carnival, only to realise a neutral friend named rusdi has been working for my dad for quite some time. i just hope those complains about an irresponsible worker on the dinner table is not of any reference to him. although i highly suspect in doubt, because the father exclaimed in an almost demanding and worried tone, "ni ren shi rusdi ah.?!?"

i came back, promised myself to catch only 1 half of man u's struggle against everton's impenetrable defense, and went to sleep after. no, i should put this in an more honest note - i tried to sleep after 45 minutes of the game. 320am, i woke up, tired of some bored idling and trying to sleep.

HOW TO GO TO SCHOOL TMRW.?!!!! AIYOH.

2009-04-19T02:46:00.003+08:00

246am, soccernet headline reads, "DROGBA FIRES BLUES INTO FINAL"

247am, riverbelow latest entry reads eh fuck your mother cb la.

i think tmrw i'm going to town alone ba...

to a shahridan: i tried. i really tried. i sat down and tried. i put in a lot of effort and tried but no... i just can't think of one reason why i want to be a halal face baby. i know it's your birthday today and you should be granted a wish but please please oh please let me have that wish? i hope the mark of your 18 years in Mother Earth will change your decision to stop leeching and buy cigarettes in future. *silently awaits ben's 18th to come* we've been through thick and thin, but i think it's a case of thick and thick alr - ah your belly almost 3/4 that of mine ah, that day swimming that time i got spot. can you remember the beautiful times we used to share during our new town days.? how we got to know each other.? all the stupid fishing moments.? all the standing-up-for-each-other times (junior came up to me and called me a fat hamburger, and you stood up for me... although for 20 seconds only, before you broke into hysterics).? do you remember alllllllllll these times baby.?

take a minute to reminisce all the beautiful moments we used to share baby... take a minute.

i hope you remember... ..................... BECAUSE I DON'T.! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

EH~ kidding. eh i swear la, i wanted to call you at the stroke of midnight but walcott hit a timely volley into the bottom left corner la. i bounced like thrice on the sofa then forget about you alr. EH~ but i called you after the game... but you didn't pick up. FTFS.

okay bye.

2009-04-18T06:36:00.003+08:00

30TH APRIL ESPLANADE WATERFRONT 7PM - MUON, IN EACH HAND A CUTLASS, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, LUNAR NODE.

LUNAR NODE IS A BAND MADE UP OF 4 VERY HANDSOME PEOPLE, AND 1 NOT-SO-HANDSOME GUY ("CHARMING" ONLY LA, JUNK MAG SAY ONE). MUST CHECK THEM OUT NOW. MUST CHECK ME OUT ALSO. I CONFIRMMMMMMMMMM GO AH.! THE FOLLOWING DAY IS LABOUR DAY, SO CHILLLL AND BE THERE WITH YOUR MOST EXPENSIVE LABELS.!!! er..... -.- link.?

resurrecting soon.

wah 636am cannot sleep 930am still must play soccer after that still must go uniqlo. diu leyz. we fuck the body clock.

p/s:

okay music from da muon man free la sial. muonmagickal la - http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=63332365&blogId=482891396

the/cathay:

ehz, ex electrico guitarist daniel sassoon is now playing the sexy guitars for in each hand a cutlass. go catch him la sial.

parkway/parade:

ah last but not least, don't need to intro LN la. my blog kena filled with their advertisments everywhere, filled until shahridan remarked, "you their dog ah," NARNI.?!

genuine p/s: i think the ps, pss, psss a bit not funny leh. nmind, i'm just bored. OMG 2 MORE HOURS BEFORE THE FATNESS ARRIVES IN A CAB TO PICK ME UP. i go try to get another holy leg cramp in the pool ba....

2009-04-10T23:47:00.002+08:00

FUCK

THE

FAKEFRIENDS!

as of today, i will continue walking even if i see anyone of you lying half-dead on the street.

DIU LEY LO MO, DIU LEY LO MO, DIU LEY LO MO.! ALL DIE ALSO I DON'T CARE.!

^_^

2009-04-08T01:00:00.008+08:00

A reminder to self - Lest i get distracted once again.

i dno, i have 1 hour to kill before gerlet arrives at block 56 lobby A in a nissan sunny. and since i have an hour to kill, i want to be as specific as possible.

it was around 1am when i gave an instruction in a lan shop, "press 'm' when the game starts. you know like battlefield, can join squad. if not you won't be in my team." game finished loading, and a halal face attempted to break the 'm' key on the keyboard with his index finger. very sad, the shahridan doesn't even know how to spell my sirename. i go drown in my pool now alr. nowadays, he likes to expose people - what with the past unglam moments and the un-brassier-ed A-cup boobies. i think he needs direction.

a few hours ago, i woke up and yawned. i picked up my handphone and replied the lhc's message. i continued lying down and waited for her reply. the lhc was a bad girl. instead of making after plans, she gave me as simple a reply as, "lol. its okay. we are alr watching." i lanyard-ed my phone around my neck, and it must come as a surprise to some of ma holmies because they are so used to making harmless and aimless threats such as, "call the police. somebody stole joey's neck," but it's okay, i like to get back at their braces, their acts of a clown, and their almost mutated texture on the neck. i still love them.

i took the necessary steps down and out of my bed, and looked around. i walked to my desk, opened up the drawers and cupboards, and began the mission to organise my things. i took out a whole stack of A3 papers that bore my year 1 attempts at making the cut for promotion, and went through it. i sat down on the floor, and piece by piece, i went through the same process - pick it up, scan briefly, and then into the black garbage bag. i came across one piece that had my attention longer than the others. i looked at the brief floor plan i penned a few months ago, and thought about poh. i remembered - he remarked sarcastically, "your father mother sell template one ah.?" when all i ever wanted was to be that little neater than the rest of my classmates by writing the numbers 1-13 in different sections of the room. i smiled weakly, and concluded a note-to-self: kiang jiu ho, mai gei kiang. i crushed that piece of paper venomously and tossed it into the black garbage bag. i think i threw at least 40 pieces of A3 sized paper into this black garbage bag. i picked up 6 sketch books with an orange coloured cover, still in its original packaging. as i placed these 6 sketch books away into a corner of the just-emptied cupboard, i thought and recalled a few months back when my mom and i was shopping in IMM's daiso. i remembered telling my mom that $2 for a sketch book was cheap, as compared to the branded ones sold in Popular. my mom nodded her head as i placed 6 identical sketch books into the shopping basket. i smiled weakly - it could have gone to waste. i threw away all my unwanted previous year drawings and writings (not that i had a lot to be thrown away). i stood up from where i was sitting and my electronic drum pad on the side table caught my attention. i offed the power source and unplugged all the wires attached to the drum pad. i placed it back into its original box and thought - this passion will have to be demoted to the very end of my priority list. i kept the box away in the darkest corner of my storeroom. i walked back to my desk, picked up the pair of wooden drum sticks and kept it in my drawer. 3 seconds later, i re-opened the drawer and took the drumsticks out. i must be crazy - i will not have the luxury of time to visit and rent the studio over at moberly anymore with my friends. i walked back to the storeroom and slipped the drumsticks into the same box. i thought again - this passion will have to wait.

i sat down in front of my cupboard and saw 4 stacks of butter pads. i recalled immediately the time when my mom and i were at bras basah's art friend. "mommy just buy more la. next time year 2 year 3 also will need to use. don't have to always travel to buy." i mentally mock at myself and gave a slight smile that could only be unravelled by the gradient formed at the edge of my lips. i took these 4 stacks of A3 butter pads, placed it on my lap, wiped the cupboard half-heartedly before replacing them back to its original position. i made a note-to-self again: will promise to put to very good use in future. i packed my empty files and folders beside these stacks of butter pads. i closed the cupboard and stood up. i tried to remember what was left undone. i suddenly recalled - i wanted a proper and working desktop on my desk for future computer aided design presentation work, which is one of the module i neglected. i cannot zip the software into my mac because microstation doesn't support an Apple operating system. i looked around aimlessly. 20 seconds later, i walked into my mother's room.

in 8 minutes, i had already made 4 trips in and out of my mother's room, each time with a part of her desktop in my hands. i placed the CPU under the table, and the keyboard, mouse and LCD screen on the table. i thread all the wires through a hole specially made for easy and neat wiring on the table. i sat under my table, and started plugging in all the required wires into all the correct holes. i switched on the power source on the wall behind my table, and tried to boot up this very old desktop. it is still working well. i shut down the computer, laid back on a chair, and felt accomplished for setting an entire desktop up by myself. i promised myself to not corrupt and change this desktop into one filled with games and free internet softwares. for a full 3 minutes, i rested on my chair.

it was around 0845 when i turned my head and saw my mother and adeline standing in position, waiting for instructions, so that they could offer any assistance if needed. this is what i call support. the mother cried twice in this span of 3 weeks - once during the interview for appeal in front of 3 stern committees of DARCH, and another on the phone with a Mr Goh. i must have worried my mom. i re-positioned the table lamp into the farthest corner of my table, and thought about how it accompanied me through my sleepless nights when i was rushing for a coursework submission. sleepless night count for the joey: 4 times in a year. sleepless night count for the joey's classmates: twice in a month. at 0855, my mom called out for dinner. i went to bath away all the well-worked sweat, and put on some fresh clothes. my mom and i took the lift down. i half-yearned when i saw a familiar uncle standing outside cheers dragging on his cigarette.

at around 0910, i was walking towards beauty world centre. i walked up to the third level to a bookstore selling 2nd hand story books. i purchased a copy of the host by stephanie meyer. the uncle offered to wrap the book up nicely for me. i took the escalator down to the bookstore in search of an organiser. i picked up the first one that caught my attention. i felt the width of the organiser with my outstretched fingers. no good, too small. i placed it back on the shelf. i picked another one. almost suitable. it was in a monthly-view format instead of a daily-view. i looked at the cover again. it was too girly a pink for a guy like me. i picked up another brown in colour one from the shelf. in 2 seconds, i replaced it and figured i wanted a black coloured one. i walked out of the bookstore, unsatisfied. i met up with my mom at shop and save. as i was walking towards her direction, she picked up 2 tubs of ice cream from the basket she was holding. she asked if i liked that particular flavour. i told her to put it back into the freezer and save some money. she seemed surprised at my maturity. it was nothing of that. i had a guilty conscience - in a few days time, my mom will have to giro another year's of education fees because of my incapability to focus and stay on-track the diploma course i chose after the release of my O level results. and yes, besides, the soccer kids that meet every evening in the tennis court seemed to have disappeared into thin air. i could do without extra sugar in my unhealthy and obese body system. i left my mother for a few minutes, and went to look for this poker set shahridan told me about that morning. i found it at the corner of a rack, unappealing and ordinary. we paid $37.60 for our basket full of groceries, and crossed the road to offload the heavy bags into the car.

we walked into Sinma Claypot Frog Porridge along cheong chin nam road, and took our place in the air conditioned eatery. 5 frogs dressed in a divinely cooked gravy became our dinner. i had 4 out of the 5 frogs because mama teh put down her chopsticks and declared a full stomach just 10 minutes since the time we sat down. we paid $28.45 for our dinner. we took away 2 packets of mr patrick from al ameen for the starving and complaining brothers at home.

at 1030, we walked into our home. i opened up my laptop and went on an endless spree of blog hopping. i spent 2 aimless hours on the internet. i picked up my jeffrey archer, and turned to the page denoted by a lunar node bookmark cum ep launch ticket. the noise coming from the tv screen in the living room made it hard to concentrate. i looked at the time. 1230am. i picked up my phone and gave gerald a call. he was busy talking to his girlfriend. that was when i figured i had an hour to kill. i took my laptop and went down to the poolside. i lit a cigarette. i finished my cigarette and opened up my laptop. i tapped into a wireless network named 'linksys'. i clicked once on an application called Safari on my dock and typed in the words blogger.com. i was brought to my blog's dashboard. i hit the 'new post' button and began typing this mini essay i title A reminder to self - Lest I get distracted once again. my handphone just rung, producing a classic ring tone. the words gugly. 91701438. appeared on the interface. i picked up the call and pressed the End button 6 seconds later. i only had to reply, "okay coming." i am going to click on the 'publish post' button, giving this entry a public status in the cyber world, and making everyone of you who have read this essay to this point a witness to the commitment i promise to give in my studies this very day.

so long, goodnight. *proceeds to walk to nissan sunny under block 56 lobby A*

2009-04-06T22:42:00.004+08:00

this afternoon, the joey opened an application on his macbook called the 'iCAL'. he scrolled and found the section box that bore the number '20' on the top right hand corner. the joey double clicked on that box, and replaced the words 'NEW EVENT', with 'SCHOOL REOPENS'. he closed the application, shut tight his laptop, opened up his drawer, and went to light a glorystick with his loud and red zippo lighter at the staircase. in a very long time, the joey dragged on his fag and let-loose copious amount of smoke, accompanied with a genuine sigh of relief.

2009-04-04T03:19:00.003+08:00

do daddy and mummy question you whenever you ask for that extra 10 bucks even after they have given you your share of allowance.? well, my parents do. and so, that day, "papa can give me 10 dollars. i'm going to bbdc now." i was already prepared to be a makeshift 2-minute beggar when the father stood up from the living room couch, gave me the sweetest but most unusual smile a typical strict parent can garner, and walked to his room to retrieve his wallet. he came back, and took out a $10 and an extra $5 note, and said, "10 dollars enough.? 15 okay.?" of course i was quite taken aback, and being a very fillial son who cries when papa plays cold-war, i asked for what i requested and needed for the day. he gave me that smile again. soon enough, my confusion was fixed. in front of him on the coffee table stood 2 out of a dozen long cans of carlsberg special brew i bought at dfs when i was at the the arrival terminal a month ago. diu ley. so much for wanting to make-good the relationship.

future is very very very very very very very very very very very very very bleak - ngee ann doesn't want me, mom is very against lasalle and has a who-gives-a-fucken-hoot-about-photography attitude, admin staff over the phone this afternoon informed me in almost a scream, "i'm not the principal. i cannot tell you the exact date.", and am unsure about the decision to go through hell-road in architecture.

i will pay seventy two point four million to buy a time machine to bring me 6 months back in time.

2009-04-01T05:25:00.004+08:00

April's fool day (stroke of midnight). i received a text message from ben - Eh joey. You know who is kenneth stay your condo one? Just now i at bukit timah play pool. He suddenly got problem wif me.. He bring like 3 people.. Me and alex kanna beat..

and kenneth, coincidentally plays soccer at the tennis court on some of the evenings at my condo. so, i thought about his aggressive nature and figured ben's message had some credibility. i got into a fit because i don't like my friends being bullied around (not as if i have the ability to do something about it), and called him, barking like a mad dog, 'who who who who who,' so he came up with his plot only a gullible blonde would take into consideration. he explained that alex and himself, not being very good billiard players, accidentally knocked the cue ball off the table. ben claimed that he told this mr kenneth very clearly to not step on the cue ball. and because of this most precious cue ball, they got walloped by 3 other guys, who, very amusingly, stated that they reside in signature park.

imagine this - "eh motherfucker you better watch it you asshole. i'm gna fucking screw your face. *lifts fist* oh but wait. before i do something to your face, for the record, my name is kenneth, i'm 22 this year, currently serving NS, lives in signature park, and my favourite hobby includes football and swimming. and yes, of course, fighting, *BAM*"

smart. so in less than 2 minutes, ben must have admitted i outwitted him (like, as usual), and stated, "happy april's fool day," in total resignation. in conclusion, he must really miss april huh, don't you think so.?

ah then joey tried so hard again. he initiated a conversation on messenger, and claimed that he did it with keline. of course, i thought it was sheer audacity, and i must admit i took it quite seriously the first time. if not for ben's failed-badly joke hours before, i'd have given joey's try all my attention. i dno why i wanted to question him so much in detail. but then at the end of it, "nice. bro. we're both joeys. i know when an april fool shit is coming from a fellow joey." he has the entire conversation blogged out, and i think... i think... it must be a well-planned method to hint his precious keline. boy ah, when learn to become so cunning one.

i know i must sound so childish talking about april's fool jokes.

on a less happy note, i think it's fair to say that the groupaholmies aren't as close as we used to be. rough patch yes.? never mind, it's okay, some facial acne wash should do the job, just don't get the same brand darlie is using. ^^

eh shit, everybody is making plans to club. then how, the non clubbers.? nevermind, i go dance with adeline now.

OH YES YES I PASSED MY BTT, HAHA, I PASSED MY BTT, HAHA, I PASSED MY BTT, HAHA. ... wait, i thought i heard somebody's sneer, "btt only, big fuck ah.!" under my table. sounds like yulin leh.

eh the stephanie meyer siao eh got new book lehz. i read the synopsis and it's lamer than before. first is handsome bloodsuckers releasing baby-productive organisms into girl-next-door's cunt-like-dented-siol. now, aliens take over the world. nice~ stephanie meyer just made her own book a must-read, by creating this desire in her readers to want to understand how uninterestingly lame she can get.

6am alr leh, and i suddenly feel like taking photos. i have this sudden urge to walk myself to bukit timah hill right now, and take beautiful macro shots of butterflies and caterpillars. then i'll walk over to kap and buy myself a big breakfast... no, make it 2, and walk back home to sleep. HAHA JUST KIDDING APRIL'S FOOL. HAHAHA YOU GOT TRICKED RIGHT, YOU THOUGHT I REALLY WANT TO GO RIGHT. HAHAHAH. HA. HA... ha....... ha ........... ...........ha.....h....a..... ......... -.-" -.-" -.-" not funny one. bye.

2009-03-25T02:07:00.005+08:00

14-20 march'09.

we fuck the taiwanshitz. so unfair, these taiwanese. good food and label haven, skinny legs in tight stockings and too good to be true complexion hidden under the latest sc headwear. singaporeans should let lorry drivers be murderers - let us all lie on the road and await death. my first overseas trip (minus school excursions) without my parents was a enjoyable and productive one. enjoyable in the sense that i was with my cousins, and productive because i probably visited every other shop in taiwan any hypeshit would want to.

macau and the on duty guards standing at the side of the metal detectors must have made a fool of themselves when they asked for my passport. i was checked the 3 times we went to the casino. so many tables covered in velvet cloths, some yellow, some green, some purple, but all for the same purpose. i spent most of my time watching my cousins gamble because joey is not very well off. but you know, if there was a mahjong table somewhere in there... pouncing. impact. yes, you get the idea. so during the 3 nights' stay in macau, we lived in my aunt's place. she has this apartment of walking distance to some of the casinos, and the only thing i'd have considered inaccessible, like literally, was probably the almost translucent sliding glass door of the bathroom. no, i didn't do privacy invasion, and neither did my relatives. but it's just a little irksome when you suddenly see the faint action of... how should i put it. oneself fisting one's own asshole, when it's merely just a routinely action after the big business on the throne. i know i should really talk about more interesting things but my macau stay was mostly made up of casino and mega-fisting. hehe.

we flew to taiwan in this long tube with wings they call Jetstar, and booked into a hotel with no complimentary morning breakfast. the room surprisingly, looked spacious and comfortable, until i found out my 'bunk' mate (how the ns people go) for the rest of my nights in taiwan was julian peh jia ming, a hell of a... you can't exactly describe him as chubby.. not fat... not big. i think the most suitable description of someone his size'd be a monster. i said the room looked spacious and comfortable - julian took more than 1/2 of the bed, deprived me of my supposedly 50% share of the bed, and therefore, my comfort. okay bo bian, my aunt paid for my ticket.

taiwan tv shows are so much more interesting than back here in singapore. one of which involved 4 taiwanese celebrities playing rounds of mahjongs. wtfz, i think the likes of darren seahz and febian chanz can remain glued onto the tv forever, if the telecast permits.

i know i must sound boring, but my taiwan trip was honestly that simple yet fulfilling. i didn't get to see LZX like how yulin did, i didn't chance upon anyone worth talking about, and i didn't found a $1000 note on the floor. so how.? cry lo. HAHAHHAHAHAHA. \m/

you know i want you to love my photos.

the shops i went to:

mayday's frontman Ashin's shop

all the japanese porter you can find

i don't know if this is jay chou's shop. but they didn't sell any phantaci products.

signage says it all. X-large. my cousin almost fainted when he tried on XL size for a particular teeshirt and it fitted a-okay.

international porter.

gou huai tang. wah, this shop alllllllllllll also got. outerspace, squad, pcf, nike, converse, stayreal, kidrobot, gregory, quolomo and so many others. fucking wicked.!

pizza cut five. their tees packed in pizza box. oh yes, talking about pizza cut five. this morning, while waiting for leo's cab to come pick me up at my place, my neighbours must have thought it was some kind of pizza delivery man when i was holding onto the tee i bought for leo.

stage. the price play same as singapore one leh.

apery. click to enlarge and check out the labels stated on the green pillar. this was another imba shop.

wah unity my favourite. sc tee at NT1000=SGD50.

my taiwan trip was mostly made up of shopping, travelling here and there in my elder cousin, jolyn's, boyfriend car who is a taiwanese. i think if not for him, we'd have spent much more on cab rides. you all should really try shopping w/o your parents - no pressure no heat manz.

OH YESS.! THE MOST IMPORTANT BULLSHIT EVER.!!!!!!

JOEY WALKED A DOG.!!! OH MY GOD.!!!!!!

but my cousins claimed the dog walked me leh. ): because each time xiao bao gets too near me, i do a mini para para sakura and 360 degree turn. aiyah dno la. dogs.....

2009-03-14T07:01:00.005+08:00

Refuge:
–noun

1.	shelter or protection from danger, trouble, etc.: to take refuge from a storm.

2.	a place of shelter, protection, or safety.

3.	anything to which one has recourse for aid, relief, or escape.

then what happens when you're afraid of your refuge.?

i will channel all unhappy thoughts into my current read, angels&demons.

p/s: thanks to the people who stood up from their comfortable reclining position on the poolside deck chairs and offered a good sense of warm relief by patting the back, molesting the cleavage, and the sparing of Kleenex. though i could certainly have make-done with a sharon striptease. :D

timely is in 5 hours' time, i'll be on my way off this local ground, and away from unhappiness, though on a temporal basis. beats having to feign interest in the worst and most boring of shows the tv box set has to offer during dinner time. i don't need cold-shoulder treatment. i sweat profusely and uncontrolably. it won't make better.

oh yes, happy birthday to one of the best sister i've ever known in my life. may you always pick me for the passenger's seat everytime you have to make 5 choices out of the entire clique. you know you want me beside you. you know it baby.

18th of march will be a superiorly memory-etching date for me. embedded. joyous. joyously embedded in the mind. i will plant my first and heavy step onto xi men ding on that very date, while the rest of my friends in singapore will act like they're all hyped up for a surprise designed by the... ... surprise target herself. We Fuck The Fatshits. you know i still love you sharon. true local love story wu boz.

okay yulin must remember to collect my macbook, leo joey with the PC5, darren with the zapz, lhc must miss me, continue mj from where we stopped last night, and come back with so many things, i should set aside taiwan money for another luggage. as if. silverjet, here i come.!!

2009-03-04T07:15:00.003+08:00

life has been very mj-y. i find my posts so repetitive, but it's a fact. i've been seated on a mj table for at least 4 hours for the past 5 days. i even earned myself a blister on my middle finger from excessive abrasive brushing (EAB) [shall be a new illness, and should be added in the medical books] of the corners of the tile on the third day. i had a plaster on since the third day and went on for 2 more days. i dno, my mom thinks i've become an addict. but isn't life made interesting because of such addictions.?

they ask how i am doing. i told them life is of mj and sleeping 10 hours a day, before engaging in the cycle again. i think it's cool leh, to apply such treatment to your already bouncy body.
mama got herself a spanking new car which has 2 extra foldable seats at the rear of the long vehicle. now, we 3 brothers won't have to risk crushing our balls when we take the long trip up to malaysia 6 times a year. but it's cool that my mom ushered me into the driver's seat the other day to see if i fit. mom, i know i'm short. but it's your genes. you happen to be shorter than me.

and to update a lil on my bbdc progression, i just failed my fte the other night, and still waiting for my btt. seems like forever.!

i can imagine loading the car with, not 5, but 8 of my holmies, driving on local grounds through the night, and blasting lunarnode, emarosa, anberlin, muse and alterbridge's music so loud, the wind and rear screens might break.

it is 715am now, and i just woke up. arsenal finally won. just to announce, i am in the process of turning into a full time everton supporter. and no, it is not because lhc stays in a block of hdb neighbourhood called everton park. louis saha is still ripe and not old and dying; jo has a cute little headband around his afro hairstyle which sometimes remind me of joeyho; fellaini has an afro too; tim cahill is trying to be a bad boy with new tattoos around his arm; and last but not least, yobo, eh ho bo.? point of all of this is i will never ever turn into a manchester united fan.

oh and it's eileen's birthday today.! we're gna meet later, and i shall be waiting patiently, since it is sooo early in the morning. leen jie is finally 18. leen jie can rock on with car license, the clubbing, the m18 movies, and the buying of fags. "leen jie can help me buy marlboro menthol," from all the losers who've yet to turn 18.! step smoker only. buy also cannot still wna act. FUCK.

i wna turn and spin and turn and spin. nothing to do ah sial, so early.

2009-02-26T03:17:00.002+08:00

because a few of my holmies played me out last minute after my driving lessons, i didn't get to play mj. cannot play mj, play photoshop lo.

was in quite a random pique after that on the bus, and almost sent lhc a text that could start conflicts. i endured - like how the teachers at bbdc will tell you to, lest you become a road bully. so, 5 minutes ago, on messenger, i demanded an immediate solution to what she and the rest did to me this night. i asked for a mj session the day after that will last from afternoon to the following morning. lhc did a lhc.

HAAH MY COMPLEXION CANT TAKE IT LAH

HAHHAHAHHAHA

father in heaven, i pray for my sister that she will learn to exercise self-control. i fear more lhy-treatment might present itself in front of her. may you keep all devils away from her. amen.

fuck it baby, today real madrid and chelsea. ferr sure holmiez.

2009-02-25T03:21:00.003+08:00

the start of the holidays always marks the entry of the mj mood into your system. friday, we played overnight mj at eileen's with the new company of gen and lucius. on a tuesday afternoon, i found myself stuck in a cosy bedroom for 5 hours at sulin's place with yulin and lucius. after dinner, that night, i went back home to a mj table with hongyao, nigel and xw seated in the other breadths of the table.

today, i almost wanted to find 3 holmies to keep me company throughout the night, but it was already nine in the night when i woke up. geraldine picked me for dim sum at geylang instead. i came back to my white laptop and stared into it. i had 3 hours to kill before i hopefully wish for inter milan to have a goaless draw against man u in front of the tv. a correct prediction will mean a minute financial boost. i torrented photoshop fonts and now have 800 different ones. and since i was already inside the photoshop application, i made it kill 3 hours of my time.

i dig out andrew yeo's photos when he borrowed my camera for a japan trip a few months ago.

postbox ep launch was last saturday.

check more photos out at joeyt.w-rth.com and them at myspace.com/postboxband. i held the ep and cringed at the album cover. hmm... oh well, it's just an ep.

oh yes, samantha is so pretty... right.? :D

2009-02-19T02:01:00.008+08:00

that day - i went to febian's house and had fun. do support www.whatisdope.blogspot.com, only because the photos of the second collection are taken and post processed by me. :) just kidding, support because... i dno. honestly, i think the dresses looked quite classy to me. okay, but that's besides the point.

i enrolled for bbdc last sunday and give me a few months - try spotting a moving car without a driver in it. the chances of that car belonging to my household isn't slim. the people in my first few basic theory lessons were old and... not-white. the instructors were interesting people, and while taking the break at the yellow box just outside bbdc, i overheard 2 instructors talking.

instructor A: eh that siao eh, how.?

instructor B: which one.?

instructor A: yi kor zha bor lo.

instructor B: crazy one, i ask her to turn left alr she keep go forward go forward only.

the yellow box is a dangerous place during lesson intervals - if you want your lungs to be impaired in 4 seconds, take your place within the yellow box.

like how sun wukong was involved in the journey to the west to obtain buddhist sutras, i dived full throttle into the journey to the bbdc to attain my car license. i was excited, and to a very great extent. but then today, this evening to be specific, my interest died down that much. I COULDN'T EVEN GET A PASS FOR MY BASIC THEORY EVALUATION (and along the route, failed all the 4 available booklets during my basic theory practice). i must really have nothing for things that cover distance with the use of technological mechanisms (such as the roller coaster).

anyway, while post processing photos for WID, i played around with photoshop. it threatened to overtake my liking for aperture. here's what i did:

i shall now drown myself in my 'basic theory of driving 7th edition the official handbook' at 10 1/2 storey till i drop dead and die. I SHOW YOU I GET FULL MARKS AH KNN.!

2009-02-10T03:11:00.003+08:00

geraldine and i are back on doing the worth thing that we once had a dream about. i'm gna send you people an email soon. check it out okay. oh yes,

check out joeyt.w-rth.com today.

and, my photo's on www.amtakescontrol.livejournal.com. not that it's something big to boast about but, i guess everybody needs to start somewhere and at some time.

2009-02-09T19:05:00.000+08:00

coming soon to a desktop near you...

2009-02-09T02:44:00.008+08:00

LUNAR NODE

exploring unknown territory ep launch

i have more photos which you can view at www.lunarnode.com.

the day... .... no nono, let's try this again. THE day started at 850am in heritage view. picked stuffs up from everywhere, shifted equipments into a van as if i was one of them. my tag says, "MEDIA: OFFICIAL PHOTOGRAPHER" only leh. EH~~

reached artshouse in the early afternoon, and i began my stoning, while the people started setting up. you know i hate going into details.

at around 745pm, the ones who appreciates good music came. those who'd rather less good music had their bums stuck onto their couch, or were busy catching the curious case of benjamin buttons which was a really horrible flick. i stood up 2 hours into the show and made my way down to the just-reached leo on a friday night. the rest of the people continued feigning interest and like how people will stroke their chins while staring at an art piece forever, they sat down in the theatre 40 minutes longer than i did. too much of side-tracking.

atc opened. but who really cares. it was a lunar ~~node~~ night. hahaha so funny, like how gerald looked at his watch during the show and explained, "it has only been a year since the band get... ..." i thought their set was tight as usual, but the band didn't think so. but it was definitely rushed. cmon, it's already bad enough that you guys looked like mutes on the stage playing instrumental music. try saying something into the mic, WITHOUT STAMMERING.

okay, i invitied yulineileenrobbielynetteshektingbenalexshahridaniandarrenyanhui, and yah, that's about all. tickets were sold at $15 inclusive of an ep, and $10 for entry only. their eps were sold separately at $12 each. so, i had 3 friends who paid for the $10 tickets. i topped them $15, and now, I HAVE 3 COPIES OF LUNAR NODE EP. yay-to-me okie.

oh of course, i must surely talk about the power of the media pass i was wearing that night. i know, i stood up and walked about quite often, but if you're gna stay at the corner of the perimeters of the 'stage' throughout the gig, i rather you use your camera as a dildo. like, get a telephoto zoom lens for better penetration. so, this bugger, whom i've already seen his photos and pffffft... wah a shithead. it's either his system's auto focusing mechanism was bitten by his dog the day before, or he really needs a new pair of spectacles. anyway, he came up to me and said, "try not to stand up so often, because it can be quite distracting." I SWEAR TO THE HEAVENS I WANTED TO MAKE MY POWERFUL MEDIA PASS A TEMPORARY BURNING FACE MASK FOR HIS UGLY SI BA GAO FACE. he has no idea... no idea at all. AND OH YES, HE HASN'T GOT A PASS AROUND HIS NECK. :O

okay, the shit that i just talked about... it really did happen, but i'm not that boastful and stubborn. i tried to move away from his viewfinder, but i have to agree that it wasn't an easy task, considering my heavyweight-ness accompanied by the almost pathetic size of playden. at the end of the show, the guy came up and apologised for being that weeee bit rude to me.

i know i should really talk a lot more about the set and all but i've decided not to. you people should have made your way down there yourselves. not lay back and wait for your friends to send you the tracks via msn, read the blogs of others and close the eyes to engage yourselves in total imagination.

i had been to gigs. i didn't feel the explosive-ness when i heard plushfools' music. almost a year ago, gerald started a conversation with me on messenger. he gave me the band's myspace site, which bore only one sample the other time. i was thinking, "not again..." because gerald used to have a lot of his own compositions and doings that he wants to show to the world. not that he has completely rid of of this habit, but at least at present, it's good stuff that i listen to and look at. and so, i put on my headphones and listen to the only sample - exploring unknown territory, which the band has since scraped because of some changes in the arrangements. i listened, and it was boring. really dead boring. but i thank the heavens that i endured throughout the song, because into the fourth minute, everything changed. that particular built up then fill in (gerald-ine yknow what i'm talking about) was explosive. too bad you guys won't get to hear it. ha. and because of that 'explosion' -.- i respected the band. from that day on, i'd bug gerald to send me the tracks each time he was in his car on his way back from recording. they are gooood. they must be trying to set a record here - an EP in 1 year.?!

and then i want to say this: I'VE PUT IN ALL THIS EFFORT - the messenger conversations i had with the most random people you can ever link me with a week before the launch, my presence at almost every gig, the many favours i did (like walking to the car a million of times to take something for the band) in that 4 hours before the show started, moving the crazily heavy amps and dismantled drumsets, the long mic and cymbal stands which was quite a task given my height, and all my contributions to this band, if ever, you guys ever look at it as one - FOR THE PAST YEAR BECAUSE IT IS LUNAR NODE, AND NOT BECAUSE IT IS MY GOOD FRIEND, GERALD-INE'S BAND. IT IS LUNAR NODE, AND LUNAR NODE IS A GROUP OF UGLY-LOOKING DUCKLINGS THAT PRODUCE GOOD SHIT. IF GERLET KOH WASN'T IN THIS BAND, I WILL STILL GIVE IT ALL THE SUPPORT I CAN WHEN I GET TO KNOW THEM.

thank you, goodbye.

p/s: will be patiently awaiting the cd launch, and all the best for baaaayyybeaaaaats.!

2009-02-06T14:27:00.003+08:00

at 1227pm, gerald texted me, "Omg!! We're on life! Page 8!"

and then i replied, "Omg!! That's my photo on page 8!"

do you want to come for lunar node's ep launch or not.?!!! :@ :@ :@

2009-02-03T14:24:00.004+08:00

eh hi fellas. 7 feb, be there for the (gerald quoted) BEST LUNAR NODE SHOW EVER. they have samples @ www.lunarnode.com. if you're free, do come down yes.? tickets will be sold at the door. or you can contact me, or gerald... or daniaal.... or asyraf. or whoever you know that knows the band lah okay. MUST COME.!!! I'M GOING.!!! I'M GOING TO BUY 5 COPIES OF THEIR EP.!!! the arts house is at www.theartshouse.com.sg/contact.html. you can check them out at www.junkonline.net/articles/1047-lunar-node-to-launch-their-debut-ep--the-arts-house-sg-7-feb and http://culturepush.com/2009/01/18/lunar-node-to-launch-debut-ep/ don't support them jiu suan le. at least check out the sites okay. got my photos.!!

and lunarnode played last friday night at homeclub together with some other bands. bands that made shahridan and i went near death-high when she swayed her hair to one side to reveal the holy face. godly goddess. and she reminded us so much of hayley williams of paramore. anyway, i took photos the other day... as usual.

last night, i met sharon eileen febian darren joeyho dawn serene darl, along with lynette whom i caught a movie with before, for dinner at holland v. i realised how much i really missed all of them. the smile on joeyho's face accompanied with the joeys' ddt. powerful people. no kidding. but then some people didn't turn up. like... lhc. ):

2009-01-29T01:26:00.004+08:00

on a thursday morning at 1:26am, the battery bar on my macbook reads 8%. going to make this a quick one: something happened within the clique, between one of the many loving couples. i hope he doesn't regret his decision and hope she comes out a fine and a stronger person (though i know it's not exactly the easiest thing to do). you 2 are still ma people, and i still love both of you aight. 2009's chinese new year doesn't seem the all-bright-red as expected huh.?

i self-proclaim myself unsuitable for making such an entry. not as if i don't have my own r/s problems.. wow, joey can finally apply the term 'r/s' to himself... or can he not.? sigh. indeed, a very bad 2009 cny.

side note: twilight sequel suddenly becomes lame in breaking dawn. wtf is vampire's cock in a human female's hole.? and what, when they get married, the pastor goes, "you may now bite the bride... so that she becomes one of you and you 2 can go to a blood bank and do blood-shopping together." my friend shot me down when i was reading during lesson time - "WHAT, GUY READING VAMPIRE ROMANCE.?!" i'm beginning to agree what she said.

another reminder to all - it is a bad bad bad 2009 cny. angbao = 60 fucking ringgit only. you try coming out of this season with a smile on your face. i will kowtow to you sixty four times.

2009-01-22T22:50:00.000+08:00

it is zero. it is zero, once again. it is back to zero, once again. gosh i feel like shit now.

2009-01-02T12:17:00.007+08:00

the year of 2008 has been a year of change. i met the world's greatest people (not one person, but people, which makes it 10 folds). and in these group of people i call the greatest, i had established a friendship so strong, even a truck couldn't run over. i read the blogs of each and everyone of them, and i smiled to myself - indeed, what a year it has been.

my 2008 began when i walked towards the desk and receive my holy grail from ms lena ang. i opened up my result slip and grimaced. my mom called, and because i was in such anguish, i told her off. she didn't call the 2nd time, and i later on found out that she had thought i was retained. the chances of getting in my first choice course in poly was narrowed. i had just enough to meet the COP. 3 months into all the admin stuffs that needs to be done, i emerged as a singapore poly architecture student (but am struggling like a drowning toddler now). i was introduced to a whole new set of terms and was taken aback by the power of a such a simple cutting stationary tool called the penknife - the power to make or break your scheme, the power to change your lecturer's decision to let loose or take back his or her criticisms. it's of enough ranting - i think you understand my plight.

throughout the first semester as an architecture student, i met yulin, adi, ryan, jason and sometimes sulin during my recesses. they are very fun people, and i count myself lucky that the god had chose to make them cross my paths. at times, i take the stroll to the mrt station to meet the lhc after school, and we'd go on our little dinner dates somewhere near our school. on a very random date, joeyho invited me to his birthday chalet. i knew the moment i stepped into the chalet, i'll automatically be the outcast. but i thank god i made it to the chalet, because it is through this chalet that i get to know these people. i was one of the 7 few bicyclists that made it to changi village - we all know what soccer players are made of. ^^

then i remember - few days after the chalet, joeyho texted to ask if i wanted to join the guys because they were going to town. yet again, i was faced with the decision to becoming the outcast, the odd. i didn't turn up this time. i went for the next one, then the following one, then the one after the following, and so on, and one fine day, i replied darlie's message when he texted all of us that he appreciated our scoldings and reminders for him to take his O levels more seriously. his reply to mine was a godly one (very unlikely coming from such a source) - although you have just joined us, we already treat you as our brother. from that day on, i counted myself as one of them.

of course, taking my place in this awesome clique stirred up some trouble amongst the rest of my friends, because more time with this group of people equates to lesser time with them, and the 'them', namely benjamin, andrew and shahridan. they questioned if i really did feel like and enjoyed myself when i was with them. i wasn't sure of that then. but then i got angry. i got angry at their childish behaviour. i didn't mention anything about 'abandoning' them, if they cared in the very first place. i still love them as much as i love my new friends. i still enjoy their company as much as i enjoy times with my new friends. i guess that was the only 'conflict' i had in the year 2008.

somewhere along the way, i picked up this game called mahjong, which proved to be costly. costly literally, and costly to some of my friends and loved ones. putting that aside, we had countless overnight mahjong sessions, each time at different venues - eileen's, hongyao's, sulin's, febian's, and my own place. sometimes, we joke a lot during our game; sometimes, we get irritated when the tiles we want don't seem to appear; sometimes, we lose concentration and open the row of tiles in front of us, even when the winning tile is not thrown out; sometimes, we decide going to a farm is more important than maintaining concentration (darll ho bo); sometimes, we cheat and open the next tile even when another person has already shouted, "pong" (susu ho bo); sometimes, we take years to decide to throw out which tile because the kupist (the one who kups with you) and you cannot come into terms; sometimes, we make you pay $40 because you left the 4th tile for your kang swimming in the pool of the other thrown tiles (joeyh ho bo); sometimes, we get so desperate, we play even when we are lacking of the last leg (yulin susu ho bo, lhc bo ho cos she pangsehzz). but we all agree, mahjong is a godlike game.

and because i am already considered one of them, i am automatically invited to each and every one of their birthday celebration. i have never gotten so involved in birthday celebrations. if i recalled correctly, joeyho's 18 was at a chalet, febian's was at a pub, yuanxing's was at his own place, darren's was spent in a ktv where i showcased my rendition of wen rou by mayday EH~ and our own 3D2N chalet after, leo's was steamboat which i couldn't make it, but joined them for pool after, sulin's was also at a chalet, serene's was bbq at her place and mj after, dawn's was up at henderson waves, trying to finish that bottle of chivas which was tough for non-drinkers like us, of course, for the exception of lhc, and lhc herself, up at genting. and with these birthdays, i burnt a pocket in my hole with all the presents giveaways, but it is perfectly fine. my 18 is coming up in exactly 9 days people. :D

at a certain period of time, gerald koh pasted a url link in messenger. it read www.myspace.com/lunarnode. needless to say how much i like their music - enough for me to brainwash everybody in this group to go to the cathay on a fine evening for their miniature gig; turn up for almost all their gigs this year; hum the riffs and solo to all their songs (no lyrics, or else i sing lo), and lip out the drum beats; and take beautiful photographs for them. you have no idea how big a percentage the music this band plays had made up my year. i like them enough to be so excited for their launch on the 7th of feb. gerald koh, a really important part of me this year (and so, for the previous years in newtown). he got his driving license which provided a lot of convenience for me on numerous occasions. the 400d was safe-kept at my place for a long period of time, and he brought me along whenever he jams with the band. oh yes, talking about the band - i think i can be considered one of the few that hangs out often with them. after jams, we'd have our late dinner together. then asyraf and daniaal will perform their shitass nonsense in the latio, head-banging to the hard rock of emarosa, and caressing my man boobs randomly. oh yes, gerald thought of this lifeband project, but it seems like it has since ceased, or maybe we're all too busy.

in this year of 2008, i faithfully pack my soccer gears into my bag every saturday morning, and make my way to a street soccer court in the west coast area. my cousin and his friends are a sociable bunch. in 2 saturdays, we're already talking like we've known each other for years. then i introduced them to andrew, benjamin and shahridan. the 4 of us, along with the rest of them, would play football together, have our lunch together, and then make our way home. this is good practice, because all my holmies say i've slimmed down. not like it mattered.. dang -.-

the ladies in the clique, lhc dawn serene yulin eileen sharon sulin, have been very... well, how should i put it, cute, at times.? dawn is talkative at times, but mostly too quiet; leenjie is the exact opposite. she is talkative, but it's a very good thing. i don't know, but i feel she is like the big sister of the group.?; yulin is an awesome buddy in and out of school. the backgate dates is what keeps me sane during the long hours in school; sulin is my darling2, and she'll remain like that forever because she is a steady kia (minus the most recent reprimanding because i back out last minute for mahjong); sharon is the same kpkia from the secondary school days. she cannot stop asking people, "eh i pretty not.?" okay i confess, yes you are. don't ask me again. true local love story wu bo.?; lhc is... i don't think i need to say more. MY 2008 BLOG ARCHIVES IS LIKE A LIVING TESTIMONY OF HER CRAZINESS.

to the gentlemen that i'm closer to in this clique, febian darren joeyh leo darll, they've been the ones that trigger the button to emit all laughing gas within me. febian is my dad, but sharon, i'll never want a mom like her (HA); darren is the best messenger buddy i have, but i'll want something more anytime. i know he've been very busy with lan and basketball training of late. the eve of christmas, when we were all at feb's house, his sudden, "eh ho bo," was like some kind of remedy to a disease that i had in my body. i dno what disease, maybe it's the miss-darren-too-much-disease. his zhao xia eh ho bo is powerful; joeyh was once a sparkart colleague but i think it is better left dead. we are the same name people, therefore, we pledged that through thick and thin, we'll be there for each other. as how we put it, bo bian, same name ma; leo, one of the 2 sunset kids. i've known him since secondary school but never really got this close to him. i think the both of us can spend one whole day alone together, and yet still have so much things to say. he is the god of all my laughters. he is the one that controls my laughter. he makes me laugh, with the pimples, and the yong speaker gong, and the niam the 7 ball, and so much more. i love playing pool with him, because our mood take a sudden change and we get all serious about it; darll is a good brother, despite the limbei you de shi qian saga with him outside beauty world. although at times... okay, not at times. although all the time, he irritates the hell out of me, he is one steady bugger. another sunset kid, and i know he's another i cannot do without.

then, you all are wondering. yes, it's the kwan. during the later part of the year, i re-met this really short girl and deciphered my liking for her. she is probably the closest i get to what they all call, a 'relationship' (my hair just stood. this is very un-joey to say such stuffs). to if-you-believe-its-you-then-its-you, roger that. i know what you mean. i promise i'll put in much more than this. take care in bangkok. and please don't bang cock, i beg you. i'll be really sad.

to benjamin, andrew and shahridan, i really really really still love you guys. you are my roots, and i'll never forget that ever. 2008 has been uneventful for the 4 of us as a whole. you guys were so busy with O levels. let's make 2009 more fulfilling please.

to my family, we're cool. that's all i have to say.

and to myself, i love 2008 because i have changed. i have changed from a (you all better not laugh, or else i beat you all)

self-narcissistic fellow (i think this was in secondary 1)

TO A

cool and avid photographer.

and my only new year resolution is the exact opposite of kwan's fourth resolution. just you wait. :)

2009, HUAT AH.!!

2008-12-31T17:43:00.002+08:00

this morning, DARCH went to the National Arts Museum for another one of those site visits.

i dno why, but each time DARCH's on a site visit, all of us take it as some photography club outing. "eh lend your camera." and all the bullshit. but i think it makes it fun this way. today, it was the first time i had a full hands on massage of jul... jul's camera. the d90. the lcd screen is almost as wide as my previous d40x's body.

try to spot me tonight - i'm going to shoot fireworks. i love it, cos it's like a union for all the photographers. it's easy to spot one - they carry tripods. and the point of sharing that... i dno. goodbye.

2008-12-29T01:42:00.003+08:00

javier is an impact-maker, for i've unknowingly featured him in my past 3 entries. talk about impact-maker, one appeared this christmas - she got me an awesome christmas gift.

these few days, i have been a very weak guy. like a football club that suddenly goes off form (yes, i'm referring to my favourite Arsenal), i am unable to function normally. the pain in the back is growing each and everyday like nobody's business, no joke, but yet, i still have that unexplainable energy to drag myself to compete in rounds of mahjong. the first, it is competing. until it hits 530am, it's completing. trying hard to complete the game as soon as possible, so that you can get back to sleep. my brother's friends and my parents were the mahjong legs for the past 2 nights. i've just downed 2 tablets of panadol. i hope it helps, because in about 5 hours' time, i should be in the bathroom, washing up and preparing for my first day of school.

i admit *face turns red* - i'm falling in love with twilight. i know i shouldn't, because macho guys like me don't usually get hooked onto such romance stories. this is a vampire romance story, which makes it all the more fictitious. and then, i admit again *face even redder* - that edward guy seems like the coolest guy on earth. i think i want to be him. i think only.

i am watching the blackburn and mancity game right now. this is fucken random but who cares - robinho is wearing the same pair of mecurial vapour as i am. hehe.

check out www.riverbelow1.blogspot.com yes.

2008-12-24T02:44:00.002+08:00

this is the true meaning of tio cheng.

and this, the the true meaning of a 5 tai zm.

and this is self-pwn. which means you take a fucking long knife and keep stabbing yourself.

2008-12-22T13:17:00.004+08:00

hehe, that day at the aunt's house. javier's in da house.

then leo and i went to find the lhc. and people, you need not worry about her. don't bother telling her to take care, or say, "hope you're doing fine." when you see her, because from what leo and i gathered last night, lhc is perfectly OKAY DE. she is still her fucking-self. which.. sucks.

2008-12-21T18:26:00.006+08:00

marina barrage with the aunt who just had her operation. we had seafoooooodz. the joey hardly go, "eeee, so cute." when he see toddlers. but this one is really quite irresistible.

marina barrage is a sexy place. if only i had my tripod with me...

2008-12-20T04:22:00.002+08:00

i think huichin is a fucking cute bitch. she just said this to me on msn.

huichin:

but luckily for me, i had someone to make this trip soooooooo worthwhile. as if not prominent enough in our group with all her weird actions plus loud random shrills, she brought her reputation up to an entire new level. she wanted to be prominent even out of town. so she sat down and thought about it the entire day. Ah, that's a good idea. she she thought to herself.

huichin:

who's the she

KNNZ, er no, it is not you. i think i was referring to your mom.

2008-12-20T03:07:00.004+08:00

pulau ubinz in da house. there are photos. there are many photos. there are about 70 photos. some of them, i cherish as a valuable addition to my library, while some of them, should be thrown into a dark sea and disappear forever. all the DARLLL~ photos happen to fall under the latter category. he cannot stop trying to be cute.

but nope, he is definitely not the main character, the one in the limelight, the one that everyone's talking about back in town. i regretted making my way down to ubin with the people the moment i stepped up from the boat up to the jetty. but luckily for me, i had someone to make this trip sooooooo worthwhile. as if not prominent enough in our group with all her weird actions plus loud random shrills, she brought her reputation up to an entire new level. she wanted to be prominent even out of town. so she sat down and thought about it the entire day. AH, that's a good idea. she thought to herself.

on the 18th december, on a very sunny afternoon... ... let's cut things short. lhc pubor fell and earned herself 4 blistering bright red wounds. they look very sexy and i want to lick them. i wasn't present when her limbs and waist made a date with the super hard ground, because judging from the long years of football training plus the one we had at joeyho's 18th chalet (special shoutout wu bo), i could have cycled all the way up to Manilla Philippines, if not for the rest. i was quite far up in front when the handphone rang. Eh come back now huichin fall down.

you have no idea what my reaction was. i pedalled as fast as i could, through the rocky terrains and muddy grounds. it is huichin that took the fall. not DARLL~ or some one else. my heart was beating furiously. and i did all of that because... i had to witness her lanjiao expression. heng i was there when she had her wounds dressed by some temasek angels.

18 to 19 december was made much more memorable when my phone rang at about 930pm. i picked up the phone and in a few moments, was scolded by the other party. i tell you. this person is a strong fellow. she scold me, veli the rude, plus hang up my call, but still managed to get my ass up from the bed and take a $14.50 midnight cab up to her place. she is god. i bow down to her now. i tell you, john lim's cane from 90 cm dropped to 0.6 cm away from my ass in rapid succession i also not scared lo. this person is so godly, she is from now on, my nemesis. her name, i shall not hear - kena the people at hogwarts humji say or hear the name Lord Voldemort. but i still love my darling2 a lot. she is my darling2, SO WHO IS MY DARLING1.?! WHO.?! WHO.?! IT IS... if-you-believe-its-you-then-its-you lo.

okay la jokes.

today, adeline chua made a big impact to my family for the 2nd time. this time, a very funny one. though she's from the philippines, and in her profile bears a tick against the box that has Able to speak english beside it, her english is very poor. today, in the car on the way to Giant, my momma asked, "at home still got spaghetti noodle," in a very ah soh way. adeline had no idea what my momma was talking about. so she kept quiet. irritated, my momma raised her voice by that much. she started talking. she said, "yes mam." so my mom, half-believing she understood the question, asked, "so must i drive back and check whether have?" she happily replied, "yes mam." now, my mom got really confused. so she asked again, this time raising her voice, "so at home got spaghetti noodle not.?" she replied, "no mam." okay, my mom, now, like the wifey of the white tiger that killed that singaporean malay was fuming. "so don't have. must i buy.?" adeline answered, "yes mam." my mom questioned once again, "so must i drive back and check whether at home have?" adeline said, "no mam." the blood vessels that threatened to burst in that past 2 minutes relaxed. my mom asked her, "so why just now you say must go back and check?" adeline kept quiet for 8 seconds. "i nervous." she stammered a little. my mom asked, "why nervous? i can eat you ah.?"

1 second.

2 seconds.

3 seconds.

4 seconds.

5 seconds.

6 seconds.

7 seconds.

8 seconds.

9 seconds.

10 seconds.

11 seconds.

about 12 seconds of complete silence in the car which was dark. then adeline suddenly answered,

"YOU LIKE LOUDPSEAKER MAM."

i tell you, limbei is laugh until bei dong, want to cough out blood and kill myself alr. my mom laughed along with me and she couldn't drive with all the laughing gas kept in her stomach. the car diao zhng for about 9 seconds when the traffic light switched from red to green, blocking traffic. today is a fucking funny day.

it is time to get some rest. my flu is bad. really bad. oh yah. i got something to show you guys. here's my lovely lhc

trying to be like

can feel the similarity.? lhc don't try la. serene not as kp as you. _|_ ^^ _|_

i am happy that these 2 days have been beneficiary to my past moody state.

2008-12-18T01:59:00.005+08:00

today is the first day. the first day in 17 years. the virgin time. the very first time i looked around for ways to keep myself sane, resulting in a very moody joey. may ubin rock my world tomorrow. apologies to the hollandv people tonight.

a lot of brand got cross here cross there - subcrew x dusty, clot x original fake. fuck it people. the newest trend - joeyt x tanyulin.

i took many photos of the nothingness in my home. this is evidence of how bored one can be when he's alone at home.

tell me what the fuck is taking photos of bananas and toothpaste&toothbrushes on a sunny afternoon.

note to self: i call this week _____.

2008-12-09T04:00:00.002+08:00

it's been a long time since i met everybody. the everybody that changed my life. especially leo, joeyho and lhc. special shoutout wu bo.? it's an awesome feeling to be able to meet everybody after such a super long time - i think in future, we should store our need to meet for a very long period of time until it explodes and meet up. then town won't seem so boring.

of late, i've been playing a lot with this godly programme named aperture. i know i've mentioned it like 20 000 times but i'll do twice of that anytime.

i vaguely remember what i did for the past few days. i was present at the people's jam at void, played mj overnight for 2 consecutive nights alr, played weekly soccer on a saturday morning, took random shots of nothing at home after watching hot shot for 4 hours straight... ... i guess the only thing that's consistent in the whole of this week is that this short girl appeared in my plans. and daily, which is always a good thing. oh, and an even better thing is that the load of keeping mum the progress, was lifted off an hour ago. YE HAO PEOPLE.

2008-12-05T05:29:00.003+08:00

of late i have been a very good and a bad boy. i cannot go into details because it is 532am now and i am a very tired man. i have just completed my final model, feeling nowhere near good because i spent only 14 hours on it.

just to update a little, i traded my d40x body with my classmate's d70. i think i am happy with the trade. i played with the camera for 2 hours and took a few shots - i call this mini series At Work.

what do you think of the pictures baby.? i dno why, but i especially like the first one. don't you think it's such a well taken shot.? lookim beams.

that day, i was on my way to school on first seat upper deck of bus 74 when my nose decided to play a trick on me. it released many many many many blood. i was unaware, wiped my nose, and continued resting my hand on the bag that was on the empty seat beside me. i looked up and watch the TV. office mobile reported, "Hilary Clinton appointed as state secretary." i pulled down my earpiece and concentrated. then i finally saw the bloody hands. i look down on my very bright-coloured sc bag and oh gawd, what magnificent contrast. the rest is better left unsaid.

another thing, my new maid arrived 2 weeks ago and did a very daring thing yesterday. she was homesick. very homesick that she cried during her sleep. on a pleasant wednesday afternoon, she decided to dial 999 on my home's telephone. the officer on the other line said, "clementi police station." my maid freaked out and pulled down the phone. 1 hour later, the police arrived at our doorstep. my brother opened the door and greeted the 2 police officers. shock-ed. we contacted the agent and found out the truth behind the story - all maids went through the same ministry of manpower training before signed in an agency, in which were taught that one should dial 995 in the case of a fire or a serious injury, and 999 if you need help. true, my maid needed help.

i love maids. i have no idea why. we laughed to ourselves when we realised our previous maid's name is amanda. this time, i almost rolled on the floor. "hello, what is your name.?" "hello sire, my name is adeline chua."

NIN NA BUAY.

then we later found out her grandfather was a chinese. i hope my next maid's name will be something as cool as paris hilton. ohwell.

yes, that day, i was with my mom at the coffeeshop when we met one of my mom's friend. we asked her to join us for dinner, and so she did. when my mom went to the restroom, the auntie, my mom's friend, started asking things about me. after my introducing ourselves to each other, i learnt that she has a passion for dancing. she told me, "you must pick up a hobby. learn something, so that in future when you grow up, you will be special. like play basketball, or swimming, or any hobby." i thought to myself, "true. this auntie makes sense. should continue listening to what she has to say." she continued, "like for me. i like to dance a lot." i half-believed what she said because judging from the number of wrinkles she has on her face, even line-dancing might want her life. but then i continued listening. i was absorbing every single thing she was telling me. until...

"I EVERY THURSDAY LEARN DANCING IN A STUDIO ONE. VERY GOOD FOR HEALTH."

okay nmind, this one, dou okay de. i relac. BUT THEN...

"WE DANCE A LOT OF DANCE. MOST OF IT IS HIP HOP DANCE. BUT SOMETIMES WE GOT DANCE SALSA."

that's it - whatever good impression of her (though short-term) initially vanished in a blink of an eye. i could only smile at her like an idiot, the only most polite way of suppressing my laughter.

HA HA HA.! DARLLLLLLLL~

2008-11-27T22:28:00.003+08:00

that day at hortpark, class 05 and 06 was on a site visit. i snapped a few photos. no, really just a few, then the camera died on me.

i am going to revive www.riverbelow1.blogspot.com soon. first, to let you know more about what i think of LIFE, and second, to prove to you that aperture is indeed an awesome photo editing software.

today i saw the very motherly side of tan yulin on bus 74. thank you lao bu. i will go to school every morning from this day on.

sidetrack: you know i can because you... .... lookim smiley face.

2008-11-25T00:46:00.004+08:00

my conceptual model looked something like this.

i think i mentioned some positive stuffs, if not, all, about my model. my lecturers obviously thought otherwise. i had the urge to smash my model into pieces during crit presentation that day - you actually tried, yet the comments and results you attained are not of satisfactory level. you suddenly feel like giving up, and your body functions like a nocturnal owl. your attendance is school is bad. very bad. your lecturer suddenly looks at you in a very different way in school. this, i call, the downfall.

because gerald is a cheater in most stuffs, he managed to cracked aperture on my mac and it's a fucking awesome software. i saved $368 that day.

we celebrated dawn and yuanxing's birthday, and my days after most often spent with ah leo of late. i got stuffs to do, a lot of stuffs. anyway, i should try to sleep now. goodnight.

2008-11-08T04:18:00.002+08:00

YOU HAVE NO IDEA, FUCKING HELL, NO FUCKING IDEA, NOT EVEN THE FAINTEST ONE, HOW IT FUCKING FEELS TO BRING THE MODEL (YES, THAT MODEL WHICH ATE UP YOUR GLORIOUS SLEEP FROM 6PM TO 5AM ) TO SCHOOL AND BE SO ACCEPTED BY PEOPLE - "eh this model whose one.? joey.? you sure anot.? how can it be.?" AND THEN NAS (MA HOLMIE JEBRONI IN SCHOOL) DID THE SWEETEST THING ANYONE CAN BY SENDING A TEXT - Eh bro, your model chun siol. Im super impressed. Haha. Like seriously, not joking at all.

and after all of that, body fully drenched of sweat after that soccer game in the evening, plus 3 hours of sleep the previous night, i still changed out and meet the cool people in town because i felt that this calls for a mini celebration. i wanted so badly to share with ma holmies what happened in school and about the ken ding i received from my fellow polymers, but all of them, "orh, okay." like they don't fucking care. ): especially tanyulin. BUT IT'S OKAY I'M COOL I'M COOL.

now, i only have to wait for my interim crit which falls on the coming monday. spot on verbally, and i think i should be sailing. i bo pi the jesus-es of the world will bless my soul.

buddha pool club had their little training in west coast rc after till now-i'm-lying-down-on-a-deck-on-10-and-a-half-storey.

rockkkkkkk on people. nmind, you don't want i ownself. :DDDD

2008-10-31T00:26:00.002+08:00

3 weeks into school, i met my first submission date, and am glad poh said something like, "i didn't expect so much. i am actually quite impressed,". you have no idea how it feels, these words coming out from mr poh sing.

in the middle of all these happenings, i celebrated bossman darren seah's birthday. he is 18, but sometimes, we still, "handsome cutezx square = JD" on messenger when we're bored. haha at you because you have no idea what we're talking about. this is old school rockin' shit, like as old as the joey with the folded socks tucked at the front of the shoe and, "eh ankle hor." okay, we had dinner, sang karaoke which is a very cool but expensive thing to do, and then went to a chalet on jln jurong kechil road. it was quite a last minute decision, but thank god there were vacant apartments. so, at 545am on a saturday morning, i forgo weekly football with the cousin&holmies and sat through at least 20 poks of mahjong - it lasted for 3D2N. on a sunday afternoon, we walked over to a nearby coffeeshop, had lunch, and then, "eh mj.?" and we people ftw and trekked back for another round. no la, we not mj addicts. where got... ...

darren is a basketball coach.

tmrw is www.myspace.com/trellaband at homeclub, and i hope they try their best to blow my minds. but is it too late to seal this battle of jealousy that we have against each other.? i dno, i want to have fun tmrw. the school is quite stressful - INTERIMCONCEPTDESIGNMODEL by next friday, when this week is almost up. eh, sisters and brothers, YOUR MOTHER OKIE.!

i text because of present money matters i have decided to change our usual saturday town escapades into a much more economical one - football at sig park chalet. imagine stripping right after the game of football and jumping right into the the icy cold swimming pool. sbs. total expenditure for the day will be kept at 6.30 for a can of coke light and that godly plate of mr patrick. please confirm asap for booking. to the guys. see you all on saturday.

2008-10-15T01:38:00.004+08:00

the mother shook my leg at 7am sharp and reminded me it was 13th october. i did a hui-ge 'nb', got up, walked down the steps, and felt half-awake in a very very long time (because the holidays permits you to sleep till the bed threatens to break).

the first day of school was bad. extremely bad i should say. instead of giving the routinery post-holiday speech such as, "so, how was your holiday, class 06.?" or, "where did you go during the holidays.?" as if it did matter, my lecturer plunged straight into a set of powerpoint slides and bore me till death. i don't know how many times i got distracted and tried untying my friend's shoelace, or slap my friend's lap, clasp my hands together and prayed like a monk because he had a new hairdo, or rather, he had thrown away his hairdo during the holidays because i was quite positive i could count the strands of hair on his skull. i even started messaging people like ryan, saying, "eh cb you owe money pay money or else i kill your family," which i'm utterly sorry about if i ever did offend you, but try to understand - i was very bored.

at 1030, we gathered at ADRC, which is this air-conditioned room, and if i had the chance to change the name of that place, i'll gladly change it to The Place of No Return because everybody from class 01-06 gets introduced to hell in there. we usually gather there for project briefings, and this time round was too much to absorb. i took my seat, took a piece of paper from a friend, wanting to take down notes and requirements but found it too hard to catch up. Mr Chieu just went on and on and on, "your final project... ... the hideaway... ... koh samsui... ... Thailand... ... tasked to design and conceptualise a prototype of a chalet... ... the artist, dancer, writer, or photographer...". it was as if he dropped a joey on all of us, tying us down and giving us the stern warning of, "YOU ARE GONNA DIE THIS SEMESTER FUCKER." and i can totally imagine joker of the dark knight saying that statement. i remembered the pdf. file containing all the specific requirements and stuffs like floor area, dimensions, and so on for our very first project that was on our school's blackboard made up no more than 10 pages. that day, i knocked on my brother's door and passed him a thumbdrive containing the same genre of pdf. file of my final project. when i got my printouts, i counted, and realised we had 26 pages of information to go through. but like how gerald put it, it could be a good thing, because more information provided should logically mean an easier task.

i scanned through the printouts that day when i was in gerald's car on the way up to holland v to meet the rest and confirmed that this semester will require a joey that will work doubly hard. then i went on and realised my final crit presentation falls on the 12th of january.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH SP DARCH. NOW I CAN GIVE THIS EXCUSE TO MY FRIENDS AND TELL THEM I CAN'T CELEBRATE BIRTHDAY SO THAT I CAN SAVE MORE MONEY FOR THE INCOMING VESPA. FUCK YOU CB.! FUCK YOU CB.! FUCK YOU CB.! 3 TIMES BODOH.!

after that, we had our impromptu site visit up dempsey hill and instead of a chartered private bus, we had to find our way there. everybody got themselves drenched in sweat because the walk up the hill from the bus stop was a long and tiring one. they got themselves drenched, while i got myself dreeeeeeeeeennnnnnncccchhhheeeeed. you get the point holmies. we went into this church and was cooped up like the coco in eileen's house everytime we come over for mj and the place was stuffy and hot but the holy spirit didn't turn on the fans for us. we were told to do some sketching but the then-present condition was bad - can you sit still and sketch while you're so soaked in sweat.? then towards the end, the holy spirit decided to turn on the fans but 2 minutes after the fans were turned on, we were ready to leave so fuck it nb.

the first day of school was horrible. let's hope this is not a sign. it's not that i have lost interest in my first choice, but sometimes, it gets hard to safekeep it. the time given is a major turn off. i should get some rest now. goodbye.

2008-10-09T01:14:00.001+08:00

lunar node, 4th oct, on the stage.................

2008-10-08T01:13:00.003+08:00

A TRUE LOCAL LOVE STORY.

and i sing, your voice, was the soundtrack of my summer. cum winterspringautumn LONG ZHONG LAI LA NB.!

secondary 1:

i noticed you, but knew i could only do so in heart-wrenching silence. i seeked refuge through doing things i thought would heal this pain. i tried looking into the eyes of other girls. what feelings reciprocated couldn't beat what the pair of your ever-so attractive eyes did to my life. each time we came into a direct eye-contact, my eyes fixates even after yours linger. i wanted to speak up, and i wanted to approach. i wanted to know you, and i really wanted to be your friend. but the balls were still kept tight in the underwear.

secondary 2:

my momma bought me my first pair of boxers. the balls cheered and danced together. i took that as a directional sign, that i should garner up all my courage and approach you. i watch drama serials, i watch variety shows. i took special attention when a guy approaches a stranger for her number. i had at least 83 different methods to do so. i scanned through my list on a lonely saturday night, and picked one i thought would work. i stood in front of the mirror, and rehearsed at least a million times - "in life, i only listen to 3 girls. my mother, my sister, and my girlfriend. i have my mother and my sister to listen to now. will you be the last girl that i'll listen to.?" i thought it would work, until my dad knocked my head and screamed, "SHARON SO PRETTY.! SO SEXY.! (eh that time bbq wu bo)" and i told him off because the martell doesn't warrant you to flick a single criticism on my girl. i continued rehearsing. it was 12 midnight. it was your birthday. i picked up the phone, look through my contact list and scrolled down to the letter 'S'. there, right before my eyes, was the 3 holy words, SEXY LITTLE BITCH, follwed by an 8-digit number. i stared, and then thought, "eh i must call mummy to ask where she is. so late already, still outside." so i called my momma, got what i wanted to know, and scrolled down to the next name on the contact list below SEXY LITTLE BITCH. S-H-A-R-O-N, and i had positive goosebumps. i depressed the dial-call button, put the phone against my ear, and waited for you to pick up my call. you picked up the phone, and i heard somebody half-snoring, half-saying, "what,". i quickly rejected the call, not of fear that i might have awaken you from your sleep, but because you snored like a pig.

secondary 3:

i was elated to learn that you were streamed into my class. i went to the temples and the churches to give thanks. the first time i walked into class E3/4, i spotted you, at the corner of a classroom, talking to lynette and sulin. i walked over to the table. my heart was jumping at an unhealthy rate, the blood vessels threatened to burst, i was panting, a serious problem of lack of oxygen. in my hands, the paper tab i was holding was soaked in cold sweat. on it read, 'TAF CLUB'. i had just finished running 2 rounds around the field.

you suddenly burst out laughing, and i stared at you for a good one minute. you suddenly turned, and looked into my direction. you stopped laughing, waved, and said, "EH HO BO." i was so happy that you wanted to talk to me. i started walking towards the table you were at, the corners of my mouth almost touching the ears. i was smiling really hard, until chen shufei bumped into my shoulders, and walked past me. you were waving to her, not me. i looked around, and strategically picked a place that was in proximity to your table. i looked at the punjabi-boy who was sitting beside the seat i wanted to take and the laughing-you simultaneously. it took me only 2 seconds to think, "fuck it. this sacrifice will prove to be worthy.!"

from then on, i found it hard to concentrate during lessons. each time i turned to my left and engage in a conversation with punjabi-boy, i was half-listening, my concentration being channelled fully onto the beautiful face of yours. sometimes, when punjabi-boy is sick, and doesn't want to speak, i will be the one to start the conversation, so that i have a good reason to look towards your direction. sometimes, the need becomes too interrupting, and the topics with punajabi-boy had long ran dry, i'd try as i might to somehow churn up a topic, such as when i asked him, "eh you punjabi why you never wear turban," or, "eh i got look like cristiano ronaldo,". you get the point.

secondary 4:

i finally had the courage to talk to you, and we became very good classmates. i didn't know what to do when mrs lena ang handpicked me to sit in front of you. i swear i saw stars and was at a loss. i immediately stood up from my old seating and ran to the table in front of yours. i sat, crossed my leg, turn behind to look at you, rested my head on my folded arms, and blinked my eyes rapidly, like what a girl would do when the boyfriend says, "no," to the LV handbag. you looked into my eyes, and i could sense a strong heat radiating in between our faces. i was in heaven. at least i felt like i was in heaven. i have prayed for this day to be realised, and god did answer my prayer. i continued looking into your eyes, and you continued looking into mine. then suddenly, you tapped my shoulder, and said, "er you forget to bring your bag and books.?" and pointed to my initial seating.

4 months into our new seating arrangement, i got to know you better. each time i wanted to turn back to talk to you, the girl beside me, madam teo sulin, would tuck at the sleeves of my uniform to ask a mathematical question or tell me something that has got nothing to do with me. fear of provoking your sister, and thus indirectly provoking you, i entertained her and taught her math and science and humanities, and english, and chinese (YESTERDAY WHEN ASK YOU JOEY OR RYAN YOU SHOUT RYAN SO LOUDLY WITHOUT ANY THOUGHT RIGHT. SHOUT SOMEMORE LA.). that was my motto when i was with you - your sister asked me for help in math, i taught her mathsciencehumansenglishchinese. i was willing to do things a hundred fold more than you have initially asked of me. that day, at the canteen, you tapped my back and, "can help me buy ice milo.?". i turned away, made use of my phone, and 10 minutes later was down at the parade square waving my hands in a backward action, helping 7 truck drivers reverse safely into their lots. on the 7 trucks each bore the word 'MILO'. i had ordered for 7 truckloads of ice milo (those that visit the school annually), and 85 bouncers to keep the rest of the students at a safe distance. your sisters told you what happened and you couldn't believe it. you ran to take a look, and i saw you blushing. that was the first time i saw you blushing, and for something that i had done. i beamed, took out my ray-bans, put it on, fished out the handphone, and took a self-portrait. ah, yet another addition to my friendster collection.

back at class, i couldn't get myself to turn back. i didn't dare to. my holmies came up to me and gave me a salute for my chivalry. one of them even, "eh siao eh, lookim suave ah.!" and if i remembered correcetly, it was darren.

present:

i hold your hands, bring you to scale the mountains, to conquer the seas. i wanted to bring you along to genting, but you said it was boring, so we settled for brunei instead, and boy, was it fun.! we went to the cathay, you were in my arms, and the soothing music of lunar node was playing in our ears. we looked at the stars, and you suddenly screamed, "SHOOTING STAR.! QUICK MAKE A WISH.!" you closed your eyes, but mine was still opened. the shooting star became bigger and bigger, and i realised it got closer and closer. you opened your eyes and cursed because a dog had its penis tickling your fat cheeks. i had forgotten to inform you that lunar node was playing for WORLD ANIMAL DAY. we turned to our right, and saw a very very very very very short girl, not taller... no, not longer than yaoming's middle finger, tearing badly. you decided to go over to console her. 3 minutes later, you told me the story, and whispered into my ears, "we should never become like this dear." i smiled.

15 minutes later we were down at the pool hall and you knn fucking cb tell me when febian sit beside you your heart beep boop beep boop kaninabu.

i was LPLL-ed. i looked into your eyes, and asked whether you wanted this bad enough. you said, "you will have to make things work my darling boy." i said, "okay," and continued fixing the keyring, adjusting the length of each suede, typing the beads up together all over again, trying my best to fulfill your wish to make things work.

today, you said you wanted me to hold your hands. i rubbed my left hand against your right. this is what you called the pre-stage of holding hands. and... it went on like that. for the rest of the day. my hand rubbing against yours. -.-

she is eating a 2 piece chicken meal. i am smiling because she tears off the chicken skin and soaks a tissue paper with the chicken oil. it is a very cute scene, and i love it very much. she is fat, yet she is trying.

okay sorry for the very sudden change in tone from a joking ficticious one to a ultra serious one, but..

my sharon will not cry in all circumstances, for she has friends and friends, and many many more friends that will stand by her side at all costs. she will be guarded by all her friends, and nothing should try to play-punk with her heart. she will finish sorting out her feelings and stop her endless crying in lonely nights. my sharon will stay strong and constantly remind herself that she has good friends like yulineileenlhcserenelynettedawnsulin, the kind of sisters that will never part. she will get to know of more handsome guys in this singapore, and will finally find one that will truly love her all in all. she will learn to find other things to do in lonely nights to make her happy instead of crying. she will learn to let go and think of other handsome people. stay strong like a bull okay.? halfway there my friend, you already look like one. :)

2008-10-07T01:34:00.002+08:00

okay yes for once i am the first to blog about the day's fun. haha i win. today, i woke up, waited for awhile, the study table took its place at the living room, and i left to meet up with the holy grail - the stage tee signed by the luozhixiang. oh and yes, i couldn't stop smiling when yulin shared her many experiences in taiwan. we met at fep, went into the stage, got a handphone charm, and me, being very proud and proactive about all, took out the stage ziploc bag and showed the 2 pretty ladies tending the shop. i could senses jealousy, much-envy, glimmering in the eyes of both of them, for the closest they'll ever get to an affiliation with the luozhixiang is the li teng. i haha-ed them in my heart, they, "wo men dou mei you kan guo luozhixiang ah." wah i steam a bit wu bo, forming the bulge in the fake calvin klein boxers my mom got for me from macau. nbzz. i treated the yulin to carls jr, which is no where near repaying what she got for me.

ah then we went to the hollandv, sat at the cold rock and talked about everything. it's funny how topics jump - taiwan -> family -> funeral processing -> live/die, fair/unfair -> maid (my amanda must go to hong gan now) -> everything else. eh you want to chill you go meet these buggers, super ho eh.

last but not least, i want the whole world to know that in a unit in the signature park, there lives a holy grail, so valuable, so untouchable, that you should try by all means to get your hands on it.

eh but funny - i reached home at a 130am, took the ziploc out, place it at the side of the brother who was laying down on his bed watching the tv, and got myself really puzzled. he swept the stage tee onto the floor. NARNI, wait, i go punch his cock now. BYYYYYEEE.!

2008-10-06T01:52:00.006+08:00

i remembered the day when i first stepped into the alcohol haven. i drank that little in light of febian daddy's birthday. at the end of the day, i felt like a shitdog. the whole world puked outside the pub, and thought it was quite unfair - if you take littering in little india divided by puke (a mixture of hard liquor, yesterday's chicken rice, day before's me siam, day day before's nasi lemak, and that day at al ameen with the mr patrick) in the heart of this lion city like at the bloody fucking center of town, you will get a final answer of LHC, JH AND I ARE FUCKING SUAY PEOPLE. wtf is get caught for littering in little india, and get away scot-free mouth-shitting on the roads.? after all of this confusion, i took a long sleep back at home. the next time i met them, they told me, "you know that day you took out your posb card and gave darlie your pin number, and say you want to treat all of us to drink.?"

wow.

the amanda is leaving for good. she is going back to jakarta. she is not working for mom cynthia anymore. the usual mahjong legs at the signature park should rejoice, for she won't give deadly stares towards our direction, while sharpening the blades of the kitchen knife.

eh, i went out to do many stuffs, and read eileen's blog okie.? specific to the max, me like.

lunarnode played at the cathay, and it was a bad bad place to gig. the stage could only accommodate the drumset, 3 amps, and benasyrafgerald had to stand on floor level, eye-leveling with the crowd. okay there wasn't any crowd to begin with. the guys all, "okay steady we go see. 4 oct ah, lai on. steady." like how they, "LAI UHH CHANGI VILLAGE. COME, CYCLE TO CHANGI VILLAGE," on the joeyho's birthday but only 7 made it there. the girls, out of sympathy, accompanied me throughout the gig, and i forced them to blog it out that they somehow like the gig, instead of, "joey cb waste my fucking youth to smell dog fur in the midst of watching cock band with no singer," i like to come clean at times like this. but it was bad. no atmosphere. they played among dogs and rabbits, because it was supposed to be WORLD ANIMAL DAY, and i could sense the asyraf having a tinge of want-out when he said, "PLEASE MAKE A DONATION. WE LOVE ANIMALS." in between their songs. omg. lunarnode should be playing at larger scale gigs.

the daddy took the 174 bus with me back. i am experiencing a fatal invasion in the spinal cord. the breathing difficulties and the mini slouching makes me very uncomfortable. NO HOR THE BREATHING DIFFICULTIES NOT BECAUSE OF OBESITY HOR. i die liao de wor, my back so pain, today still go play soccer de wor.

sharon and i signed a contract which is headlined TOGETHERATION, and one part of the condition is that i should have an entry dedicated to her. so...

joeyho wants an entry so that he will finally realise how cocky he actually is with all the, "eh yo wassup do you think i'm good with girls," and the, "eh i think my pool got improve," and my forever reaction will be -.- in an aircon room, and -.-" in an outdoor place, and -.-""""""""""""""" after walking for 4 minutes because i love sweating.

okay the yulin is back, and she brought back luozhixiang with her. i am glad that she is back in not more than 2 pieces. her photos with luozhixiang makes the world envy her. i want to meet luozhixiang too, because i admire him for being such a filial sun while having to work out his throughout-the-clock busy schedule. i have a busy schedule too, and i am trying hard to be like him. i want to be like him. i want robinho to slot more balls into the opposition's net, so that i have extra cash, and so that i can draw the money out, and treat my mama and papa to food that will make them grow as fat as me. :)

i am an angelic boy.

i think i really like lunarnode. www.myspace.com/lunarnode. they got new song le wor.

2008-10-01T21:53:00.002+08:00

in the previous post, i had something like: GOD, PLEASE BLESS YULIN.

god answered me. YULIN JUST CALLED TO TELL ME LUO ZHI XIANG SERVED HER AND APART FROM THE YULIN-SHRILLS OF JOY AND THE, "OH HE SO CUTE LA.!" THAT DIDN'T MATTER TO ME, SHE SAID SHE GOT LUO ZHI XIANG TO SIGN ON THE ZIPLOC PACKAGING OF THE SHIRT SHE BOUGHT FOR ME.!!!!!!

now, that is what i call 5 tai. and zi mo.

2008-10-01T13:55:00.003+08:00

this battle we have against each other relinquish your authority. is it too late to seal this battle of jealousy, that we have against each other. failure to design a proper explanation, of your objection, against my actions. - trella. and it fits perfectly fine.

2008-09-28T01:43:00.006+08:00

there is something about hate/dead taggers that amuses me everytime i encounter one. i tried to figure that something but never could. this is funny, because their intial intention to bring that person down does not materialise, but instead, backfires and gives the target a good laugh. and in the midst of all these mini-mayhem and confusion erupted thanks to the bored-till-death tagger, i try and think alike one of them, and i think i have just formulated a list of steps to be a good and effective hate tagger.

1st step: FINDING THE PERFECT TARGET.
you do what i call blog-hopping. for safety reasons, blog-hop at least 15 times down the list of social circle. so it should be your friend's friend's friend's..... x 15. ah, then you'll be safe because even should the target find out who you actually are and demand an explanation and how you got your way into his/her blog, he/she will probably start biting the nails, light a cigarette, need the bathroom even before you can finish going down the list of linking friends.

because the job of such a tagger is to make an impressive amount of impact, you should opt for a clique, instead of an individual target. that will heighten efficiency rate because instead of several tags distributed among several blogs, you can criticise a group of people in a single tag, because you know the friends you have included in your list-of-random-people-i-detest-for-no-apparent-reason are bound to visit your target's blog. and yes, using a single tag instead of several tags might also help the connection speed of cbox, or any other tagboard host domain. without the invention of these tagboards, your time cannot not be killed that easily. so, help them to help you - it is part of life.

STEP 2: USE A SUITABLE NAME.
use a suitable name so that people cannot identify who you are. an example of an incompatible name is when you're named joey, your hate-tag name is yeoj. this is very dumb because such inversion can be easily spotted. most commonly used names include anonymous, annonymous, annonnymous, passerby, passerbys, iwashere, xxxxxsucks, xxxxxxisafucker (where xxxx is the chosen target's name), girl, boy, and a wide variety of random punctuations.

STEP 3: CONTENT IS OF THE ESSENCE.
your content is probably the one that makes or breaks your hate tag. your content should contain horny materials such as... i shan't elaborate. use your brains, go natural - if you need a pull at the dick or a rub at the clit, release your hormonal needs in the form of creative literature. that will do your parents and the fresh air some good.

alternatively, you can opt to use words like suck, fuck, suck, fuck and suck. and yes, not forgetting fuck. and suck. because those are the only words you can think of. okay, maybe the word idiot, but nevermind.

last but not least, your content should be out of nowhere and extremely, randomly, untrue. such when you say your target's mom's a dog. like, what the fuck.? very random. "your laobei is a crouching tiger."

STEP 4: HIT THE ENTER BUTTON, AND BE BACK IN 24 HOURS.
your whole purpose of a hate tag is to see your target either squirm in fear, or retort back in anger. so be right back in 24 hours and savour every moment while you read his/her reaction.

please ignore all of the above. i need to relieve stress. wtf is hull city>arsenal, pompy>spurs and wigan>manc. the ball is round. and my stomach is round.

my life is very bored. i need to do stuffs like this to hype things up (but all in denial). i am sad. hull city hit 2 goals into arsenal's net. i am dying. may i earn some extra cash to treat people to makan. aiyo bu cuo oh :0

i should talk a little about how my 26th september was spent. but each time i read the blogs of my other friends, i cannot feel the zeal to talk about. go read theirs for perfect detailing of every single event that happened on serene's barbeque birthday night. one thing that surely did matter most to me is that lhc and i won $75 on the mj table. it is time to prosper. i have let my bank account down.

YULIN IS OFF TO TAIWAN. SO, GOD, PLEASE BLESS YULIN...................................
please bless yulin that she will find the zapatos, some stage, fingercroxx, subcrew or any nice shit.! hahahahehhee.

2008-09-26T05:42:00.003+08:00

a little few updates on my present life. we played mj one day, 7 poks my friend, and if you do the simple calculation, 7 poks will mean 7 X 4 rounds per wind X 4 wind which gives you a total of 112 games of mahjong (excluding draw games and winner-stays). darren, serene, joeyho, darlie and i played from 12am, to the following day, and we all stopped at 345pm. that's almost 16 hours of mahjonging. i don't know how many times we needed to visit the toilet, joeyho obviously being the most frequent visitor because of his weird bladder habits. you know mahjong is addictive when you ask for another round even when you've reached your ends of lethargy and you're losing money. we ate lousy beehoon and overnight potato salad for lunch, a bad attempt by the amanda-maid, but can you imagine she has that 7-inch asus lappy and logs onto my blog to leave me with a 'fuck you cb say my cooking' tag.? that'd be cool. i've always wanted my dad to own a msn passport so that we can speak online when he's at work.

then i go on and talk about my new found thai friend Patrick. oh, he lives in a store off cheong chin nam road, and a very famous one i must say - Al Ameen. his name is actually nasi goreng padrik thai but we all go by the name Patrick for easier and shorter verbal exchanges. i met him for dinner for 6 days consecutively, 7 times, which means there was a day i met him twice for dinner AND supper, and when the people reached my house for mj, my first reaction was, "did you get ma foooood.?" i admit that i did panic for a few seconds until serene presented the red plastic bag in which stored my remedial drug. i tell you, Mr Patrick has became as important as my organs in my body and i fear this is still an understatement. i told joeyho that a record was at stake, if they showed up without my Mr Patrick - 6 days straight. no, make it 7, i had it for dinner just now because my mom's in macau and my dad has to be at his car roadshow for the night. you must try it - nasi goreng padrik thai. probably the best nasi goreng you've tasted in your entire life.

while savouring Mr Patrick in a white styrofoam takeaway, i turned on the tv and caught freedom writers on HBO. yerps, it did make an impact, at least enough to make me sound like a retard when i actually tried asking lhc, sharon and eileen for the diary of anne frank - not like they're avid book readers. at 244am, instead of bugging tanyulin with my usual attempts at being a emo wrist-slitting songwriter, i walked out to kt's place (which is a condo just beside mine) and got hold of the book. yerps, diary of anne frank is an interesting read, unless it goes downhill and gets dull after page 37.

i think the F1 craze kickstarts later tonight. i hope lewis hamilton and all the rest of the drivers will drive safely. i hope they will have maximum control of their cars that moves at the speed of F16s (like wtf). because should they decide to lose control and find their cars, faces and helmets making a rude date with the facades of suntec city mall, or more specifically epicentre, my sulin will be out of job.
i am only doing this because i chanced upon this picture she sent me quite some ages ago while organising my files into my new 1TB external harddisk. sometimes she is good, sometimes she is bad. i dno. i stick with my mama.

it is 0537am and i am suddenly missing my mama. i hope while she is in macau, she'll think of me too, like how i'm thinking of her. i hope the street beggars don't bug her too much, and i hope she comes back in one piece with stuffs that'd prove that she's a hip mama. i hope that when she gambles, the ACES and the JACKQUEENKINGS will find their way into her hand so that she will smile and she will not find the need to scream, "AH PEI.!" like she always does.

i want to sign out and go to sleep now. it is the 26th of september, and it is serene's birthday. happy gooood birthday serene. i will see everybody tomorrow at a condo along dover road. goodbye.

2008-09-23T04:23:00.001+08:00

THIS JUST HAPPENED LIKE SECONDS AGO.

HUICHIN: DON'T SKIP MY QUESTION LEH. I CONFISCATE YOUR SKIPPING ROPE AH!!

2008-09-23T03:21:00.005+08:00

you should visit the blogs of eileen, joeyho, darren, lhc, yulin, serene, sulin, and you get my point - everybody else's blog for the specific details if at any point you're curious, although i can't seem to figure out why you should be. i've said what i've wanted to share with my andrew and ben on saturday, kt during usual makan-at-the-feisiong-at-3am last night.

okay you have to sit down, relax, and consider thoroughly -

HOW MANY OF YOU CAN PROUDLY SAY YOU'VE BEEN TO GENTING WITH YOUR CLIQUE.?

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS.

AND,

HOW MANY OF YOU CAN SAY YOU'VE TAKEN THE FUCKING SPACE-SHOT-LAI-UHH~ THRICE IN A ROW.?

i know i can.

darren: ye hao.

darlie: fuckyaww and the "ni papa kai studio ah."

joeyho: contracted the KUANG ____, ___ FAN LE TIAN, coach hines kia.

serene: multiple hoodies.

yuanxing: another coach hines kia.

ryan: 'eh sing song leh, cabrera.'

sulin: fan of cabrera alr lo, 24/7 superglue-ed, and still can, 'i miss you darling,' me.

yulin: photographer - cheebeh you lucky i never take out my camera. or else you think your photos can nicer than mine.?

eileen: laughs hysterically.

febian: fakeshit capz, and my father.

hongyao: WOOOO WOOO CHANGI VILLAGE LAI LA LAI LA.

xiangwei: stubborn kia with the singlet up in genting highlands. like how the guys'd put, "le tao nao wu sai (your brains got shieeeeet)."

and, i think i'm done with all. did i leave out anybody.?

photos from gerald's gig at beat merchants and the homeclub. wa, if up till now, you haven't visited their site www.myspace.com/lunarnode, i will fucking tear you apart you know.

alaskan crab legs at the kushinbo on the cousin's birthday. 13 people = $680. ho eh.!

this entry's so informal and very un-riverbelow-y. i don't care, it's 349am, and it's not a good time to rack your brains.

oh yah, another girl took a seat and came along on the genting trip. her name is Jean Lee Hui Chin, and her father is the famous Sam Lee who owns the brand SUBCREW. since her father owns SUBCREW, the joeys wanted to try our luck at getting their new headgears for free. her birthday falls coincidentally on the day we left for genting, 14th sept. so, we bought her a cake and celebrated her birthday up in the highlands. i think it is cool shit to not only celebrate your birthday with friends, but also do it overseas. but her lifelong and earnest longing for a sexy gucci lanyard wasn't fulfilled. but i still don't know why she can still laugh about it -

this is like, probably the only photo i've taken with her.?fuck it, happy birthday huichin. oh yes, remember, the vespa will be mine one day.

2008-09-20T00:58:00.002+08:00

personal to-do list for the world to see:

cousin's birthday.

genting trip entry.

edit and upload homeclub lunar node photos. (www.myspace.com/lunarnode)

gig @ esplanade library.

most importantly, spend some time, share some love for ma holmies back in da crib.